


Of Stars and Moonlight

by HJMoriarty, OfDarknessAndLight



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Action/Adventure, Awkward Romance, Drama & Romance, Enemies to Lovers, Family Drama, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, Kylo Ren Angst, Kylux - Freeform, M/M, Post-Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Science Fiction, Sexual Tension, The Force
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-24
Updated: 2016-09-15
Packaged: 2018-05-23 01:56:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 26,312
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6101028
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HJMoriarty/pseuds/HJMoriarty, https://archiveofourown.org/users/OfDarknessAndLight/pseuds/OfDarknessAndLight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"This man, this being made up of stars and moonlight and power and passion, had somehow broken past all Hux's defenses, all the walls that he'd built so high - not to keep people out but rather to see if anyone ever cared enough to get in."</p><p>Kylo Ren and General Hux were the perfect storm - dark clouds clashing with lightning in a dance of lethal intent. Forced together on a mission, following their failure at Starkiller, they must face not only beasts and sinister motives, but also themselves as they fight for their survival and explore whether their relationship goes beyond military duty and the explosive release of sexual tension</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. All Fall Down

**Author's Note:**

> This story is a revision of the roleplay storyline of the same name, which was previously published here, on AO3. We are in process of systematically streamlining and editing the original story for better plot, dialogue, and grammatical flow, and republishing on a weekly basis. The story will remain identical; only the syntax will change. 
> 
> Thank-you for your patience as we carry out this reconstruction. We hope that the end result will be a story that flows more smoothly, and is generally more enjoyable to read.

Kylo Ren sat quietly in his meditation chamber, staring at the burnt and twisted relic that was once Darth Vader's helmet. Normally this posture was soothing to his mind and spirit, but this day he had no peace.  Every time he tried to close his eyes and center his consciousness on the Force, all he saw were images from the previous night, flashing through his mind with the vibrance of a holofilm:  pale fists balled in Kylo’s black robes, fiery red hair between the knight’s fingers, the feeling of soft ginger skin beneath his lips, the frenzy of of racing pulse and rapid breath, urgency and hunger and need.

_ “I've waited too long for this, Ren, don't make me wait longer!” _

He might have been able to excuse the tryst as a one night stand - an accumulation of the many stresses both men had been under, culminating in a mutual sexual outlet.  But it hadn’t ended at that.  The knight pinched his eyes shut, fighting against the words that refused to leave him in peace.  

_ “Kylo...you have the most amazing eyes…” _

_“No, General, don’t hide your face.  I want to remember what you look like right now - peaceful, vulnerable, and perfect.”_

_ “I want to remember all of you, Kylo…” _

Shaking his head and sighing heavily, Kylo rose from his seat and strode out of the room, momentarily giving up on the idea of meditation.  Just as he was leaving the dimly lit room, he heard the familiar sound of an incoming message on his personal holoprojector.  Flicking on the device, Kylo watched as a small image of Lieutenant Mitaka appeared before him. 

"Lord Ren..." the mousy lieutenant stammered, clearly unnerved. "The Supreme Leader requests your presence." 

"On my way," Ren replied, breaking the communication without another word.  If nothing else, this would grant him a reprieve from his thoughts, and hopefully keep him away from General Hux a little while longer.  Grabbing his helmet on his way out the door, he placed it firmly over his head and locked it into place.

***

Hux growled under his breath as his communicator sounded  _ again _ . He had been dragged back and forth across the Finalizer repeatedly, all day. He was tense and sore, and all he wanted was a moment to stop, drop his professionalism, and just curl up and block out the galaxy. 

He ignored his comm, opting instead to look at the screen of his datapad as urgent notices continued to flood in. He sighed.  Apparently, even taking a night to himself is off the table, now. When his holoprojector, communicator, and datapad all suddenly began to beep at once, he grabbed one at random. 

"What?!" He snapped into the comm.  

"G-General," A shaken voice began. "The Supreme Leader requests a meeting. Now, sir. It's urgent."  

The ginger gritted his teeth, "tell him I will be there shortly."

***

With long, determined strides, the imposing young Dark Side Force wielder  made his way to the conference room where he always met with Leader Snoke.  The cavernous room was cold, dark, and so silent it was almost painful to the ears.  As he entered the auditorium, the image of the Supreme Leader materialized before him. Walking briskly down the aisle leading to the holo platform, he bowed in respect to his master. "Supreme Leader," he said solemnly, head still bowed, "I arrived as quickly as I could."  

Hearing the telltale sound of the door opening behind him, Ren turned quickly to see General Hux hurrying toward them and his heart jumped into his throat. ‘Perfect,’  he thought to himself. ‘So much for avoiding Hux today.’  

Hux was no happier than Kylo with the unexpected meeting, since he had also hoped to avoid interaction with the knight until he’d had time to work through the events of the previous evening.  With a sigh, he stopped, shoulder to shoulder with the taller man. "Supreme Leader, I apologize for my tardiness."

Ren could feel the other man's energy signature like the faint hum of electricity, and it caused the hairs on the back of his neck to bristle. A brief image flashed through his mind of the previous night - pale flesh, hot breath, rapid pulse... He hoped against hope that Snoke was not trying to view his thoughts at that moment, as he tried, largely unsuccessfully, to center his thoughts and calm his mind. 

Fixing his gaze straight ahead and upward at the colossal image of the Supreme Leader, Ren steadied his breath, thankful for the mask he wore which would at least prevent General Hux from seeing the color rising to his cheeks. "What is your bidding, my Master?" Kylo Ren asked in a deep and steady voice.

Hux clenched his hands behind his back even tighter as Ren's rough voice broke the silence that had taken over the room. He bit the inside of his cheek, trying to stop his body from shaking. More than ever, the Force seemed to flow off the other man in waves, wrapping around the General in soft caresses of pure energy. He tried to imagine a wall, but he couldn't find a way to fill the cracks already broken into it.

He turned his attention to the twisted caricature of a man that sat on a crumbling throne. Snoke's voice rumbled around them, an earthquake with a controlled epicenter.

"Starkiller Base has been lost," the gargoyle began. "A failure that you both watched over." His eyes landed on the ginger. "A heavy blow to our forces, General, and an even greater setback in the war."

Kylo wilted beneath the judgement of his teacher, knowing that the failure of their imperative had been largely his own fault.  Taking note of Snoke's heavy gaze falling on Hux, his heart sank; whatever jealousy and differences there were between the two young men, he couldn't let Hux take the fall for his own shortcomings. 

Taking a step forward and raising his voice, Ren spoke loudly and clearly, "Supreme Leader, I am largely to blame for our failure at Starkiller."  He cast a sidelong glance at the General, knowing Hux couldn't see his face. "Punish me if you must, but spare General Hux."  

The knight was stunned by his own words. Such a display of compassion was uncharacteristic for him, and most likely would  _ not _ engender approval from the huge apparition before them.

Hux turned to glare at the Force user, mentally yelling at the knight, not really knowing if Ren could hear him, but nonetheless shooting the thought in his direction. (What are you doing?!)  In that same thought, though, he thanked the other man for pulling the Supreme Leader's gaze away from him. "Lord Snoke," the General growled. "Please forgive me my failures. It will not happen, again."

Snoke’s grey eyes narrowed as his torn face scowled.  "For your sake, I hope that your promise is true. Remember, General, that you may have been chosen by me once, but you can easily be replaced." 

His glare then shifted to his apprentice. "You have your own failures, Kylo Ren. Losing the scavenger and the map to Skywalker were more than enough.  Do not add to them. You have both failed." 

Hux shivered, trying to remain still as Snoke's power radiated  from his hologram. 

"And you will both take part in the punishment for these failures."

Raising his voice once more, Kylo addressed his master. "Only say the word, Teacher.  What must we do to redeem ourselves to you?"   He tried to calm his pulse, hoping he hadn't started sweating beneath his layers of black fabric.

Snoke considered them, watching them in silence. Hux held his breath, hoping to all things that the Supreme Leader was not in either of their minds, right now. He felt cold under that steely gaze, like he was ripped apart and thrown into the winds on Hoth.

"There is a planet, not far from where you are, now: Utapau." The name sounded vaguely familiar to Hux, like he had heard it in a dream or a fleeting conversation from his childhood. "It onced housed a great Kyber crystal that powered Sith weaponry. Now, it is in ruin." 

Hux glanced over at Ren - as statuesque as ever. He was tense. "What do you wish us to do, Supreme Leader? Do you want us to re-take the planet?"

"No, it is useless to us in that way. It would be just another waste of my time." The hologram flickered. "You two will go on a mission to the surface of Utapau and seek complete crystals. It is time you had a fully functional saber, my apprentice."

Ren cringed.  The anger and disappointment radiating from the ancient would be palpable even for someone who was not sensitive to the Force. Furthermore, the remarks had hit a nerve; he had grown very fond of the lightsaber he had crafted with the cracked kyber crystal.  He took pride in its uniqueness and its volatility.  But he knew better than to argue with the Supreme Leader. 

Genuflecting, the dark knight spoke solemnly, "We will not disappoint you, Master.  I will --" he cast another sidelong glance at Hux standing beside him.  "-- _ We _ will do as you say."  Inwardly, Ren wondered why Snoke would send Hux with him on such a mission.  Surely he was capable of fending for himself in such a task.  Silently chastising himself for doubting his master's wisdom, he rose to his feet once more.

The hologram flickered out, leaving the two men alone, in silence and dim lighting. Hux clenched his jaw. Being in the same room as Ren, right now, was like splashing him with cold water. Going on a mission, alone, with him would be like expecting him to survive a blizzard. The General kept his pale eyes trained ahead of him, too afraid of what might happen if he looked at the Force-user beside him. 

"A new crystal. You must be excited...can't say why I'm being dragged into it, though." It was a weak thing to say and he knew it. But the silence was suffocating and he couldn't think of anything else worth commenting on short of saying 'hey, Kylo, thanks for the great time last night, we should do it again sometime.' He sighed. "I will alert hangar deck 4. You are fit to fly, correct?"

Ren stood frozen in place.  He wasn't sure whether to laugh or groan at Hux's remark.  Excited?  Hardly.  Looking down at the floor, the imposingly tall young man felt very small.  He'd been berated, albeit somewhat passively, in front of the one other person whose opinion mattered to him, and now he was alone with that man.  The General's thoughts and feelings - primarily embarrassment and anxiety - forced themselves onto Ren uncomfortably.  

Hux didn't mean to broadcast these emotions, he knew, but in the time that he'd come to know General Hux, Kylo had learned what almost no one else on the Finalizer knew - that though he was self-disciplined and composed at all times, General Hux was a man who felt deeply and passionately.  The impetuous Force-user was constantly baffled by his ability to remain unflappable, even under the most alarming of circumstances; it was a quality that Ren found both admirable and infuriating.  

Finally, he turned to look at Hux and spoke in a cool and level tone.  "I am fit to fly," he said with a nod.  "I will go and make preparations."  And with that, he turned and strode out of the room.  (I will go and make preparations??) he thought to himself as he walked away from the other man as quickly as he could.  He was going to have to get a grip on himself if this mission was going to be even vaguely successful.

“What have I done?” Hux thought to himself as he watched the other man go, letting out a breath he didn't know he was holding. The intensity that rolled off of Ren was strong enough to make most men cower. While Hux had gotten to the point where he could stand to be around the knight, his knees still felt weak when they were together. The ginger suddenly felt very alone, but on edge, like eyes were watching him from the long shadows that stretched around him, reaching with ghostly fingers to caress his boots. He shook his head, tossing away the irrational fears and turning on a heel to escape to his chambers. 

The General packed light - clothes, shoes, blaster, and a few other weapons that he normally kept hidden away. He looked at his datapad, checking the time. He didn't have much time to notify his officers of his extended leave, so he opted to do so while making his way to the hangar, resigning himself to the fact that he and Ren would have a lot of time to awkwardly avoid talking.

Ren, once back inside his quarters, pulled a black satchel from under his bed and quickly stuffed inside a few extra tunics and pairs of pants, undergarments, and a few small trinkets, each having either superstitious or sentimental value.  His outer robes, hood, and cloak, he reasoned, could be worn several times before needing to be cleaned, and most of his other needs would be met by the Force.  

Fastening the bag securely shut, he hoisted it over his shoulder, and exited his quarters.  'Hangar Deck 4' he reminded himself, recalling General Hux's words. The sudden thought of Hux caused his stomach to flop.  They were going to be alone together on Utapau, and they were going to have to eventually discuss what had happened between them.  The fiery young man, though deeply passionate, was equally deeply averse to  _ discussing _ his feelings.  

Having been raised by two emotionally distant parents, he'd never really learned to discuss things of an emotional nature.  His mother had been too proud, his father too stubborn and arrogant, to take the time to guide a child through the process of dealing with his emotions.  With a heavy sigh, Kylo Ren made his way to the hangar, his heart rate gradually increasing in direct relation to his proximity to General Hux, with whose energy he'd become so well acquainted.

The ginger tapped his foot as he worked. He had dropped his bag at his feet, ignoring and disposing of it to, instead, be able to use both of his hands. Message after message was written, signed, sent. Schedules were listed, changed, edited, relisted. At a certain point, the General had run out of things to do and just stood and glared at the screen in his hands. 

The few other people in the hangar kept their distance after the first few who approached were sent away with icy glares and cold words. “How fitting, to think of myself as ice, when I always see Ren as fire,” Hux pondered. That's what the knight was - unpredictable, uncontrollable, ready to burn down an entire world in a destructive sweep and raise it again from the ashes...passionate beyond all else. Hux was jolted out of his thoughts as heavy footsteps approached him. He turned, looking up to meet the black and silver metal of a mask. "Ren."

"General Hux," Ren's voice was sonorous through the mask he wore.  Normally his primary reason for wearing it was to instill fear in those with whom he came in contact.  Now, however, he was thankful that it hid his facial expression.  "Is our shuttle ready for departure?" he asked in what he hoped was a cool and measured tone.  

It was an empowering feeling, being able to observe another without them being able to see you, or even to know whether you were truly looking at them at all.  Taking advantage of this edge which his mask granted him, he allowed his gaze to linger on Hux's face.  A chill ran throughout his body as his eyes wandered, slowly and deliberately, over every feature, from his pale green eyes, over his stately nose, down to his smooth, full lips.  It was almost more than Ren's heart could bear.  Forcing himself to tear his gaze away from the older man's face, he turned aside, craning his neck to get a look at the ship they would be taking to Utapau.

Hux narrowed his eyes, having a feeling of being watched run down his spine. "It is," He nodded toward a small ship. "Over there. I've been running our course. It will take approximately fourteen hours to reach the planet. Food and water has already been stocked on the shuttle. All that's left is to man it." 

The General handed his datapad to a stray officer, giving him a long, warning look before turning his attention back to the force-user. The mask covered him more than the ginger would have liked. It made him seem inhuman - a blazing force of nature, rather than an actual being. It made Hux nervous. He could read Ren well without that damn helmet. With it? He could only hope to guess at what the other was thinking. Perhaps that was better. "Shall we get this over with?"

Ren nodded, his pride slightly wounded by Hux's abrupt comment.  He was torn between grief over thinking that the previous night had meant nothing to the other man, and the effort he was putting forth to convince  _ himself _ that the previous night had meant nothing.  Maybe it really  _ had _ meant nothing, and things would simply revert to the way they had always been.  Perhaps it would be for the best if they did. Whatever he thought had happened between them seemed to be very much over today.  And yet.... 

Ren's brooding was interrupted by a small group of men who had marched onto the hangar and halted before his companion, snapping to attention as they did so.  "General Hux, Sir, we were summoned to escort you and Lord Ren to Utapau."  The young force-wielder observed the interchange, once again impressed with the way Hux demanded respect without having to kill men to achieve it.

"An escort?" Hux barely showed his confusion, keeping his mask in place. "Very good. Board and await us." He watched as the small squad marched away, their identical armor clinking with each step they made. Each step they took away from the pair, the more the ginger's shoulders started to ache with tension. He was conflicted about having others in the shuttle with him. While the General knew that there was a lot for the two to talk about, he was hesitant to do so, at least until they were alone. Having these soldiers with them meant that whatever he was hoping to accomplish was no longer even an option. Furthermore, he was more or less willing to let Ren see him without his persona, but he would never drop it in front of his men. 

Hux gave a heavy sigh and looked over at Ren.  He wanted to say something to the man - anything, to let him know that what had happened...he looked back to the shuttle with a heavy sigh. "I suppose Snoke decided we needed supervision," he muttered. "How likely is it that they also have orders to stay at the ship while we traverse the wilderness?"

Ren huffed, clearly sharing in Hux’s irritation at the intrusion.  "The odds are quite favorable, if you allow me to dispense with them once we're in hyperspace," he said grimly.  The pit in his stomach was growing, and he desperately wished he could go back to bed.  Better yet, he wished he could go back to  _ Hux's _ bed, and start this day over again.  But as strong with the Force as Kylo Ren was, even he could not turn back time.  He pivoted on his heel to look more directly at his companion.

The mechanical tinge to Ren's threat made it almost fanciful. Something out of a holo-book more than reality. But it also gave it a rough edge that made it impossible to distinguish as actuality or a joke. Hux began to look away until the force-user turned toward him fully. The ginger's back snapped straight, shoulders leveling themselves - 'always wear your own mask,' Hux's father once told him, 'everyone else does, even if you can't see it.' 

Kylo could feel something coming from the General - some desire or longing, though it was not sexual in nature.  Perhaps a desire to convey a thought or feeling? He couldn't quite grasp it, and he refused to purposefully press into Hux's mind.  Sensing that they might not have another moment in relative privacy for at least the next 14 hours, Ren reached up and disengaged the mouthpiece of his helmet before lifting the whole thing  off his head and tucking it under his arm.  He was sure that his emotional vulnerability must have been written all over his face, but it didn't matter.  Fixing his chocolate brown eyes on Hux's green ones, he asked, "Is there something you want to say, Hux?"

The clicks and hisses that accompanied the helmet's removal sent an odd feeling through Hux, as if his own face was being revealed alongside Ren's. Perhaps it was because he understood what this meant: for the taller man to so openly and easily show his face to Hux - to be willing to reveal himself - that was trust. 

Ren's face flickered with rapidly appearing and disappearing emotions. Hux schooled himself, looking into dark eyes. "There are many things I want to say, Lord Ren.  Some more than others." He began to move away, pausing with an option for more private communication. "You are welcome in my head, Ren, so long as you get out when I want you to."

Ren blinked, truly surprised by this invitation to enter Hux’s consciousness.  Nodding, he closed his eyes, focusing his energy on pressing into the General's mind. Once he'd reached a certain level of clarity, he opened his large brown eyes to meet Hux's green ones. 

It was the first time the young force user could remember that the calculating military strategist had willingly invited him into his mind, and it shook him to his core. Physical intimacy was one thing, but this was intimacy on a whole other level.  Swallowing hard, he nodded, his eyes glossing with tears, so moved was he by this willingness to be made vulnerable. [I'm here] he projected into General Hux's mind.

Hux's eyes widened when the deep voice echoed through his head - incomplete thoughts reacting to the experience flitted about and were ultimately thrown away. [So it would seem.] The General tried to keep his voice - thoughts? - calm, even though he was anything but that. He nodded and finally broke his eye contact with Ren.  He could feel himself shaking - he could feel, actually feel, the force-user there, in his head, like fingers gliding through his thoughts as if they were parting water. A memory of an old lore sprang up from deep in his memory, but he threw that away as well. 

"We should get to the ship," he said. "We're already on Snoke's bad side, probably shouldn't keep him waiting." [I'd rather just stay here.] Oh. And he would have to learn to control those surface-level thoughts, wouldn't he?

Ren gasped softly as Hux tore his gaze away, the loss of eye contact feeling like a physical amputation - like losing part of himself.  He kept his own gaze trained on the General, and cocked his head slightly in confusion. [Which is it, General? Stay or go?  It's a little... _ busy _ in here, isn't it?] he added mirthfully, attempting to navigate around the broken fragments and rejected thoughts that Hux was trying to sweep aside.  

Suddenly, he was aware that the other man was shaking. It took everything within in him not to reach out and cup the General's face in his palms and comfort him, but he knew it would not be appropriate, and even if it were, Hux would surely reject such an outward display in front of his men.  [What is it, Hux?] he pressed again, brows furrowing subtly.  [What is it you wanted to tell me?]  He knew if he pushed too hard, Hux might repel him from his mind, but he had to know - to hear for himself what the man was thinking and feeling.

The ginger felt something from Ren, and wasn't that interesting, too - feeling someone else's reaction in your own head. There was something saddening that flowed into Hux's mind from the other, some undescribed thought in the dark-haired man's head. He suddenly picked his bag up off the floor, but he didn't move. Stop shaking, stop shaking. Stop. Shaking. 

He trained his eyes on their shuttle, furrowing his brow at his own internal conflict. [We should go. We need to go,] he mentally stated. Thinking about how to answer the second half of Ren's query. He felt heat rise to his cheeks and he instantly scowled at himself for showing any kind of outward turmoil or expression - his mask was slipping too fast. [I just...it's nothing, Ren.] Hux turned to the taller man once more, scowl replaced with a sardonic smirk and quirked brow. "Shall we, Lord Ren?"

If Kylo had been trying to keep up any kind of outward facade, it had completely fallen away now, as Hux firmly re-affixed his own mask. He gaped at the General, his temper beginning to simmer below the surface.  "Fine," he spat, turning away from the the smirking man, and trudging off in the direction of the ship.  Without looking back at the General, he haphazardly tossed a thought in his direction. [Why the  _ hell _ did you invite me to enter your mind, if you intended to shut me out of that as well?]  

Privately, he castigated himself for believing that Hux had actually intended to open himself up completely to him.  He felt foolish and humiliated.  What an idiot he had been for believing that the frosty young General actually  _ cared _ for him.  By the time he'd reached the shuttle, Ren was fairly steaming, and he stomped onto the ship with heavy footfalls.  Making a point  _ not _ to look back, or make any further psychic communication with Hux, the sulking knight went straight to the back of the shuttle to the on-board refresher, and locked himself inside.  One thing was for certain: this mission was going to be pure torture.

The General's smirk faded the moment that the knight turned away from him. The air about him crackled with the force's energy as he stalked his way to the shuttle. Hux cringed outwardly at the rage that laced Ren's mental words. That...wasn't supposed to happen. A door slammed shut in his mind, echoing in a chamber that now felt very much alone. He felt stranded for a few moments, as though someone had put out his torch. He slowly trudged to the ship, noting the distinct lack of Ren. He took a seat and ordered the pilot to take off. As the engine rumbled to life and the thrusters kicked on, he tried to push a calming air towards his hidden companion. He sighed, sitting straight-backed in his seat. He felt cold again. How perfect...this mission was already a disaster. [I'm sorry...please come back.]

 


	2. The Journey

Inside the refresher on board the shuttle, Ren ran his fingers through his mop of black hair. He could feel Hux at the edge of his consciousness, trying to reach him, but he erected a wall in his mind, sending Hux's words flying right back to him. He allowed the anger surging through him to build, attempting to draw strength from the pure raw energy of it, but he felt too broken. 

In the time since he'd turned to the Dark Side and taken the name Kylo Ren, the volatile young man had been successful in keeping himself isolated from emotional entanglements. He’d spent most of his time alone in his quarters, communing with his Grandfather's spiritual essence, or devoting himself fully to training in the ways of the Force. Allowing Hux admission into his most personal moments had been a mistake. That was clear to him, now.  

With a groaning sigh, Ren closed his eyes and allowed his mental wall to come down for a moment. Reaching out in the Force, he projected into Hux's consciousness [You're sorry? What, exactly, is it that you are sorry for?] 

Taking a deep steadying breath, he stood up and walked out of the refresher, into the main cabin. His gaze landed on Hux immediately, and he grimaced, hating himself for the way his pulse raced when he made eye contact with the other man. Silently, he walked over to where the General sat and took the seat next to him. Looking straight ahead, he wordlessly spoke into Hux's mind. [Let's just focus on the task at hand.]

Hearing the invisible voice again was just as unsettling for Hux as it had been the first time. It was confusing to the senses. He heard the voice ringing in his head, but not like when talking to someone in person. It felt like trying to pull something back from a dream - like an old memory of someone's voice, their tones and inflections, all suddenly recalled and dragged to the forefront of the mind. It was organized chaos and Hux wasn't entirely sure he had made the right decision offering his mind to Ren. 

When the man in question had suddenly blazed back into the main room, all the stormtroopers accompanying them stopped for a moment before cautiously moving around him - his anger palpable and his return cutting off the General's immediate reply to his questions. Hux tracked the knight as he came to sit beside him. [Do you want me to focus or do you want me to apologize, Ren?] He snapped in the other's mind. [I can do one or the other, it's your damn choice.]

Ren sighed loudly, becoming more convinced with each passing moment that he had made a serious error in judgement where it concerned this man. He bristled at the tone of the disembodied voice filling his mind. [We need to get through this mission without killing each other, Hux], he looked down at his hands folded on his lap, before casting a glance at the General. [If you would like to apologize, please do so.] His eyes trailed over Hux's features and his stomach lurched as he found he could not deny the desire he still felt for the man. ‘Wonderful,’ he thought in the most private part of his mind, ‘One more set of emotions to seal away in the deepest recesses of my soul.’

He looked away from Hux and fixed his gaze on a randomly selected spot on the cabin wall, waiting to hear what the General would convey next.

[I'm not the one with an issue with violent outbursts,] Hux hissed back through that mental link. 

The ginger refused to look at the other man. He clenched his jaw when he felt eyes on him but other than that remained still. He would  _ not _ react to Ren. Not now, not here. Maybe when they were alone and he could drop his persona freely, but he refused to have any of his subordinates see the chinks forming in his armor. 

[I was  _ going _ to apologize for whatever I did that set you off, again, but obviously you don't care about it that much.] Hux spared a fleeting look in Ren's direction, following the man's gaze to some random part of the wall before frowning, rolling his eyes, and looking away. 

[Fine. Ignore it,] He mentally huffed. [Do whatever you wish, Lord Ren.]

Ren gritted his teeth, fighting to remain calm, despite the rage he felt rapidly growing within his ribcage. He squeezed his eyes closed, as if the force behind the action could somehow make everyone else in the shuttle disappear. He wanted to scream at the man sitting next to him - to lash out with his lightsaber and reduce the entire cabin to smoldering ruin. However, he also wanted to arrive on the planet's surface  _ alive _ , and he knew the consequences of unleashing his wrath on a ship of this size would undoubtedly be catastrophic. 

The air inside the entire shuttle shifted suddenly. It became heavy to breathe, almost humid with how thick it was. The soldiers all suddenly either left the main cabin or found tasks that took them to the far corners of the small ship, scattering like droplets of rain after violently crashing to the ground. 

Reopening his eyes, and channeling his energy to clasping his hands so hard that his gloves strained against his knuckles, he shifted his gaze to General Hux, fixing him with a withering glare. 

[You are insufferable!] he shot into the other man's mind. [Did it not occur to you that I was choosing to look elsewhere so as not to raise suspicions amongst your precious troops that we are communicating telepathically?] 

His thoughts were firing at a rapid pace, and he hoped the mental link they shared was strong enough that Hux would catch it all. Given their recent history together, he guessed that it was. 

[Furthermore, for you to imply that I don't care about what you have to say is ludicrous!] He dropped his gaze to his hands, which were starting to ache from his own vice-like grip, and willfully relaxed them, smoothing his gloved palms down over his knees. 

Green eyes flickered down to the poor black gloves, leather stretching too far, too tight over furiously clenched fingers. When he looked back up, Ren was shooting death at him. Hux tensed in a matter of milliseconds. 

[Your eyes.] 

The black eyes watching the General, now, were not the ones he knew. A dark, dark light flickered in them that was too close to the surface. Ren's eyes normally intrigued him with how much they revealed about the man. But.../those/ eyes made him want to run, but they also froze him in place. Then that growling voice ripped into his mind - not like before, not just a voice, but a blade tearing into him. The Force-user looked away and just as quickly as it came, the oppressive feeling vanished and Hux could breathe again.

[What about my eyes?] he thought, but just as quickly, noticed that everyone had left the general vicinity. He hadn't even known he was doing it, but in his rage, he had used Force suggestion to clear the room. He smirked, smugly satisfied with the accomplishment, even though it hadn't been intentional. "Sorry," he said quietly, but audibly. "I didn't mean for that to get out of hand."

Hux pointedly did not meet the other's gaze. He had seen all he wanted, today, and it had shaken him. [They-I don't know how to describe it, they were animal. Not you. They were /black/, Ren.] The General welcomed the change in subject, but almost wished the subordinates he was just glowering at were back, closer, more present. More on hand. He wasn't scared of the knight, normally, but he was certainly feeling something akin to it, now.

When Kylo lifted his eyes to meet Hux's, they were softer, almost pleading as he pushed a final thought into the General's mind. [I don't want to fight with you. I accept your apology, and I also apologize for getting upset. Snoke is watching us. We need to work  _ together _ to redeem ourselves in his eyes.] 

There was so much more that he wanted to convey - not only words, but deeper, less tangible things. But his own insecurity forbade it - especially now, when he was so confused about his own feelings, not to mention those of another individual. Those expressions would have to wait, at least until they could have some privacy.

[Okay, yes, good. We'll talk more later...right now, I don't think my head can take another, whatever you just did.] Hux looked away, again, suddenly exhausted.

They still had several hours before they would reach their destination, and already Ren ached to have solid ground beneath his feet, and space between himself and the nearest human being. "What do you know about Utapau?" he asked Hux, partly because he wanted to prepare for their mission, but mostly to change the subject.

"Ah, Utapau. It's a sinkhole planet, once inhabited by people who built cities inside of them, now largely in ruin. Orbited by nine moons. It has a vast subterranean ocean, but that doesn't help at all against the hyperwinds that we will experience on the surface of it." 

Force, he was tired; he was just reciting facts, hoping they fit together in a way that made sense. "As the Supreme Leader said, it had a massive Kyber crystal once, but that was destroyed during the Clone Wars of Old. It's a planet in shambles, waiting to collapse on itself, so he sends his apprentice and General to it."

Ren’s brow furrowed at the description of the planet being laid out by his companion. "Sounds lovely," he commented sarcastically. "Sink holes, hyperwinds...what more could we ask for?" With a derisive laugh, he added, "I'm beginning to think Leader Snoke's true intent is to send us to our death." 

With an icy chill running down his spine, he suddenly remembered a series of stories he'd heard as a youngling, about the terrifying wildlife native to one of the Outer Rim planets...it  _ could _ have been Utapau... "Tell me, General, that Utapau is  _ not _ the home planet of the Flying Squid!" He cast a nervous glance at Hux. "Or the Resputi?" 

He knew it was foolish - a lingering dread, spawned from the ghost stories of his childhood, but the thought of such monstrous carnivorous beasts made the color drain from his face. "Hux?" he pressed, "It's not, is it?"

"I don't know, Ren. I don't keep up with scary bedtime stories," he finally glanced back at the other, surprised to see genuine worry in the Force-user's eyes. Hux kept his smirk in place. His eyes frosted over in a mix of defiance and deviousness. 

[This actually bothers you, doesn't it? I'm sure those are just folklore, Kylo. Just stories to keep people away from...whatever is on this damn planet.] 

"He very well could be sending us to die," he agreed out loud. "We lost him Starkiller. And the droid with the map. And the scavenger girl. He doesn't exactly owe us praises."  Hux frowned, finishing his train of thought silently. [He won't kill you. Me, however? I'm expendable.] He leaned back heavily against his seat, not enough that he looked relaxed, but enough that he hoped to ease some of the tension that had coiled in his shoulders. [He doesn't need me.]

Kylo tried to relax. This paranoia was unbecoming of a Force user, and especially one of the Dark Side, but a remnant of fear lingered in the back of his mind like icy fingers trailing down his neck. Quickly deciding to try and cover up his foolish jitters, he projected [No, I'm not really bothered. I just wanted to see if I could get a rise out of you.] 

The statement, even in his mind, sounded preposterous, but he hoped it would not sound quite as silly to Hux as an admission of panic over a creature that most likely didn't even exist. 

If the thought of flying squid had felt like icy fingers on his neck, Hux's next words felt like an entire vat of liquid carbonite poured over his head. The most chilling aspect of the statement was that it was true. They /had/ failed tremendously, and the youthful apprentice knew his Master's malice. He would not hesitate to execute  _ both _ of them if it gave him pleasure to do so. 

When Hux had stilled his audible voice, though, and spoke internally to Kylo, his heart sank. [You're wrong] he thought. [You do not know what Snoke said to me when you were not there...] 

He considered whether it would be wise to divulge the exact nature of the conversation between his Master and himself, and ultimately decided it would serve no purpose to do so, other than to cause the General to look on Kylo as weak - a failure, and that was one thing he simply could not stand. Keeping the details to himself, Ren glanced around to make sure no one was looking in their direction, and placed a comforting hand on Hux's shoulder. 

[The Supreme Leader does not need me, either] he projected with a gentleness that did not come naturally to the fiery young man. [We're in this together, Hux.]

Hux rolled his eyes at the pitiful excuse that Ren supplied for his fears. Fine, don't talk about it. Just drop it, like all your other feelings. He let the hand rest on him for a moment before rolling this shoulder to brush it off. 

[Don't mock me, Ren, I know where I stand in Snoke's eyes, regardless of what he may or may not have told you.] Green eyes trailed over the other man once more before the General stood and began to move from crewman to crewman, checking on the status of the ship, but using it more as an escape from close proximity to his companion. 

[How about you do something else besides think about Ky-] Hux silenced the superficial thought as soon as he realized the mental link was still open. He cut the connection. He needed to be in his own head, talking only to himself. He needed to step back into himself - callous, calculative - and he couldn't do that with more people in his head than what he was used to. 

When Hux shrugged off his attempt at consolation, Ren felt as though he'd been kicked in the stomach. But that small rejection was nothing compared to the complete abandonment he felt when Hux cut the mental connection they shared. (So much for asking nicely) he thought to himself. (And so much for my pitiful attempts at comforting him...) Briefly, he considered /forcing/ his way back into Hux's mind, if only to hurl a few choice words before severing the connection himself, but ultimately decided against it. His eyes followed the auburn haired man as he made his way from person to person, always the overseer, always in control. Except the night before... He had let his defenses down then, hadn't he? He'd even granted the younger man a measure of control. Ren's neck and face flushed at the memory, but he didn't care.

When Hux had wasted as much time as he could, aimlessly going over routines and checking in with each stormtrooper, he finally made his way back to take the seat beside the one he had originally occupied. 'Keep people at an arm's length,' his father's voice trailed into his head. With a sigh and a forlorn look out the main window and into open space - all those stars and black emptiness - he reopened his mind to the knight.

Kylo was jolted back to the present as General Hux took his seat, leaving one seat vacant between them. It was one more rejection, and it was all he could bare. Suddenly, the psychic connection between them was open again, and he looked quickly over at Hux. [You think this is a game, Hux?] he projected. 

Sighing heavily, he withdrew from Hux's mind and firmly set his own mental walls in place. "I'm going to try and get some sleep," he said aloud, his voice shakier than he would have liked, as he slumped down in his seat, trying in vain to find a comfortable position conducive to sleep.

[It's not a-] The walls were back up before Hux could finish his rebuttal, and he sighed. He watched in silence for a few moments as the dark-haired man tried to find a comfortable position. The seats were by no means comfortable - they were a military organization, not an interior design company. Everything they had was practical, efficient, effective. Nothing was for sentiment or comfort. 

He looked around, tagging each crew member as they worked, as though that mattered at all. Hux had already accepted that he was just doing all of this - all this routine and General-ing - to keep his mind from straying too far into the same sentiment that military operations cannot afford to have. Eventually he whispered, "It's not a game." He stood, half turning to the knight. "Lay across the seats, it will be easier to sleep." As mentally run down as he felt, the last thing Hux needed was to sleep - to sleep and dream of what  _ could have _ been instead of what  _ was _ . 

It was going to be a long flight, but the shorter amount of time left alone to his own delusions, the better. He felt like there was more to say, as though leaving the conversation - what little there actually was - here would only sever another connection. [Look what you've done to me.] He forced himself to walk away, to relieve the co-pilot and take over himself.

Ren watched Hux with weary eyes as the military professional walked to the cockpit and took the place of the copilot. The last words Hux had sent his way echoed through his mind. What had he meant by that? (Look what  _ I _ have done to  _ him _ ?) he thought privately. 

And yet, every mannerism - every emotion exuding from the older man screamed of exhaustion. He seemed almost deflated, like he'd had his very soul sucked from his body. Ren was tempted to let down his mental walls and try to communicate with Hux again - to determine whether he really had been the cause of such a dramatic response, but he was too tired, too angry, and too bewildered for coherent discussion. Instead, he stretched out across the now-empty chairs, and laid his head down to rest, longing for sleep to take him into a void of darkness and lack of feeling. With any luck, he would sleep until they reached their destination. It might be a savage planet filled with natural disasters and vicious beasts, but it would be better than this. Mercifully, sleep found him quickly, and he drifted into slumber, wishing he could feel the warmth of another person beside him.

Being co-pilot this mission was almost as mind-numbing as sitting around staring at walls. Hux glanced at Ren, stretched out across the seats like an evening shadow - long, dark. He looked almost peaceful in that state, but, then again, the General was never very good at reading him. He turned again to the wide viewport. The soldier beside him breathed into his communicator.

"Sir."

"What?" Hux snapped back, voice hard.

The pilot shifted in his seat. "Our ETA is still hours away. I can notify you when we are closer if-"

"If I were you, PI-2331, I would consider not finishing that sentence and refraining from asking me anything else."

The trooper tightened his grip on the steering. "Yes, General."

Hux straightened his shoulders again, casting all else from his mind except the task and mission at hand, hoping to get a reprieve from his current struggle.

***

Despite his wishes, Ren did not sleep dreamlessly. In fact, his dreams were more vivid than usual as he slept on the ship bound for Utapau. He was floating, weightless, in a tranquil sea. Gentle swells in the water buoyed and swayed him as he lay on the surface of the water. The sky was a pale green - the color of Hux's eyes - with a few scattered clouds strewn across its vast canvas. The knight couldn’t remember a time in his life when he’d felt more peaceful - more content.  

Rolling off his back to tread water, he turned to look out to sea. The sky had grown darker and there were storm clouds on the horizon. Panic suddenly gripped him as he realized he could not touch the ocean floor, and when he turned back toward the land, he could barely make it out in the distance. 

It must have been the undertow, he thought, and began swimming toward the shore. Suddenly, thunder tore through the tranquil atmosphere, and the frenzied young man noticed that the waves around him were growing larger and stronger. He  _ had _ to reach the shore, or he would drown. He was sure of it now. Stroke after stroke he labored, but the current was too strong, and he seemed to be getting pulled even further into the ocean. Frantically gulping air now, he splashed in the water, struggling to stay afloat, as he turned to see a truly massive wave towering over him, it's crest breaking and beginning to foam. Terror gripped his heart, but he knew it was useless, as the wave collapsed on itself, burying him under a mountain of briny spray and crashing water.

***

Back in the shuttle, Ren shot upright in the seat, gasping for breath. He could still feel the sensation of being drowned - could practically taste the salt water filling his lungs. Panting, he looked around the cabin, reminding himself of his location. But it was not until his eyes landed on The figure of General Hux that he was finally able to calm his ragged breath and racing pulse.

Hux jerked out of his headset, sending it clattering to the floor when Ren suddenly snapped back into wakefulness with a ragged breath. He closed his eyes for a moment, glaring out the window at each star they passed, wishing now more than ever he could shoot them out of the sky to better his own mood. 

He stood slowly, stalking to the shaken knight. He hated that look on Ren. Hated seeing vulnerability in his eyes. Hated that the force-user stared at him as though Hux could tether him to reality. "Since you're now awake, make yourself useful and take the co-pilot position," He stated. [Are you alright? It was a dream, Kylo, nothing more.]

Ren nodded, still trying to gather his senses and calm his racing heart. Hux was staring down at him, piercing him with that icy green gaze. He could sense the other man's discomfort over seeing him like this, though whether the exact emotion was concern or disgust, he couldn't be sure. At the moment, though, he felt only disgust for himself. Hadn't he already revealed too much of himself to Hux, without the General now observing him in this frantic state? He'd might as well be a Tatooine slave, cowering in the corner for all the strength and power he was exhibiting at present. 

He was just registering Hux's words when he heard the ginger's thoughts in his mind. [I know. Just a dream...just a dream] he sent back in a wavering tone. Even in his own head he was displaying weakness! In that moment all he truly wanted was for the General to hold and comfort him - to breathe in the scent of his hair and skin, and feel the warmth of his body. But it was no good. Even if he thought that Hux would be willing, it was out of the question with all the other men on board. 

Standing up on shaky legs, he nodded. "Why don't you get some rest, General," he said quietly as he moved in the direction of the cockpit. Pausing, he glanced back over his shoulder and pushed into the other man's mind one more time. [I'm sorry you had to witness that].

[Don't apologize to me.] Hux quickly replied. He stood for a few more moments. His entire being was screaming to rest, but he knew what would come of that. [I don't want to sleep.] The General hated how small that sounded, but with no one but Ren to witness it, he didn't even try to correct it. He begrudgingly lowered himself onto the metal seats, warmth still lingering on the surface  from where the knight had been lying - just another reminder of that heat. He twisted onto his other side, facing the seats and hiding his face. He stared ahead of him, too bothered by the haunting in his head to close his eyes, but too worn down to do much else than just lie there. 

He imagined taking his invisible mask and sewing together the frayed edges. Recreating the seams that were being pulled apart so much faster than he had first thought. He knew it was all in his head, but it served as some sick comfort. 

[I don't want to sleep.] He repeated, though he wasn't sure if it was to reconfirm it with Ren or himself.

The brooding force user sat in the copilot's seat, staring out the windscreen but not really seeing anything. His thoughts were far off in another dimension. For any other being, such a mental state would have been problematic in a copilot. But for Kylo Ren, being the offspring of one of the most talented pilots in the galaxy and also being extremely strong with the force, the truth was that he could have flown this ship in his sleep. 

Normally, he would have been insulted by the prospect of being  _ co- _ pilot to anyone. But today, he was thankful for the distraction, trivial as it was. Every few minutes he would glance over his shoulder at Hux lying on the seats behind him. He was facing away from Kylo, so he couldn't be sure whether the other man was awake or asleep. 

Forcing himself to tear his mind away from his raging emotions and focus on their mission, he considered their course of action upon landing. He didn't know what the squadron of Stormtroopers had been ordered, but he'd be damned if he'd let them tag along on their quest. He made a mental note to either sway them by force suggestion or kill them if they insisted on accompanying them. With a wry smile, he turned to glance one more time at the man curled up on the chairs behind him. Reaching out with his mind, he asked [Hux? Are you awake?]

[Of course I'm awake.] Hux whisperd in the link. He had finally closed his eyes after growing tired of his distorted reflection. The broken image of his eyes cut a nerve too close to the surface for him to be comfortable. 

[I hardly sleep, Ren. You should know that.] He opened his eyes, focusing again on the mirror-him - twisted and grey-tinged. It looked much more like a ghost, some lost remnant of a soul, then a real person. A deep accusation stared at Hux in that ghost, and rolled over so he could look at the outline of Ren on the backdrop of space. Back among the stars, where he should be - backlit by the celestial shimmer and cast in inhuman shadows. Hux smiled at a stray memory of his mother warning him of fallen stars who take the form of people and steal others away into the night. 

[What do you want?]

[I'm bored.] If it had been possible to project a mental shrug, Ren would have done so. When Hux rolled over to face him, he ventured to offer a subtle smile. For better or worse, the sight of the other man's face was a welcome one after who-knew how many hours of staring, literally, into space. 

[How much longer till we arrive?] Even as he sent the query, he knew it was a silly thing to ask. Whether the General admitted to it, or even was aware of it, he could have been asleep for any length of time. Very likely he had even less idea of their exact location than Ren himself did. Inhaling deeply, Ren turned back to check the control panel. 

[Oh, well, judging by /that/ star system, which looks so much different than /that/ one, I'd say we have give or take two more rounds of stupid questions left until arrival.] Hux pushed himself into a sitting position when Ren looked away. The secret smile that had been sent to him danced across the knight's features for only a fraction of a second, but it gave off a sense of safe reassurance to Hux in its wake. 

Kylo continued looking forward, though he left the link open. Considering Hux's statement about hardly sleeping, he replied [Honestly, Hux, I only spent one night with you, and whatever you spent your time doing, I personally slept like a rock!] He accidentally let slip a chuckle, and immediately pretended he'd suffered a coughing fit when the pilot cast him a suspicious glance. [Oops] he thought, quickly peeking over his shoulder at Hux.

The General stretched, trying to work out the kinks and knots that had formed in his light slumber. A light blush dusted over his cheeks when Ren mentioned the previous night. At the knight's cut off chuckle and backward glance, he stood and made a swift retreat to the refresher to try and get himself under control. 

[You don't exactly have the art of subtlety, do you?] He splashed his face with water, trying to wash away the pink that settled there like a beacon. He gripped the sink and hung his head. 

[Our ETA is in front of you, Ren. Control panel, far upper right. What is it?]

Kylo scanned the console for the ETA, and located it just where Hux had indicated. [Looks like another hour.] Ren was beyond ready to get off the ship and get on with the mission. Even at his best, no one would accuse him of being overly patient. Under his current set of circumstances, he was downright agitated. 

[What are you doing in there?] he force whispered, growing ever more restless. Rising from the co-pilot's chair, Ren looked around the cabin for the man who had originally sat there. Once he had located the man, he commanded him back to his post, and walked back to the seats he and Hux had occupied at the beginning of their journey, and waited for the General to return.

[I'm practicing my ballet, what do you think I'm doing?!] Hux huffed, gazing again at his reflection. His flush had gone down, but it was still visible. One hour. One hour of travel and then force knows how long of a mission. One hour on this shuttle felt longer than the prospective stay on the outer rim planet. This felt a whole lot like a prison. Pale hands ran through red hair, trying to calm the tresses that had fallen into chaos while he tried to come back to himself. 

[Just taking a moment alone and away from our spectators, Ren. I'll be out shortly.] He still felt tired, and the dark circles under his eyes were getting harder to ignore.

Ren sat in the cold metal chair, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees. Every few moments he would glance over at the refresher door, eager for Hux to emerge, though he wasn't sure exactly why. What difference did it make if he was sitting in the seat next to him or in the next galaxy? With all the troopers lingering around, they had absolutely no privacy on board this ship. A reflexive grin formed on his lips as he arrived at the conclusion that the reason he wanted to  _ see _ Hux was simply that he enjoyed looking at the man.

A light blush crept up his cheeks as a brief memory from the previous night floated through his mind. How many times was this going to happen, he wondered to himself. Not that he minded remembering, but invariably the memory brought with it a whole brigade of questions, and it was a definite distraction, however pleasant. 

After what seemed like an eternity, the refresher door slid open, and Hux came into view. Deciding to play it cool, Ren did not look up from the floor when he walked out, but he did smile, both on his face and in his mind.

Green eyes narrowed when Ren did not look up to greet him. It shouldn't matter. They never had greeted each other unless it was necessary. They did not exchange pleasantries. But as Hux made his way back to his companion, he felt a pang inside his chest at not being acknowledged.

He hesitated, slowing his stride as he neared the other. [Do you mind company? Or are you meditating or doing something else Jedi do?] 

He wanted to sit close to the force-user, wanted to feel his heat and power, and he was sure the sentiment was flowing off of his mind and into the link. Hux paused in the middle of the cabin, pretending to be supervising the crew. [I will leave you in peace, if you so wish.]

As he felt the words enter his mind, Ren's head shot up to lock eyes with Hux. Nearly imperceptibly, he shook his head and pushed [No] into the ginger's mind. The emotion - or more accurately, the longing - flowing through the General caused a chill to sweep over Ren's whole body, and he wanted nothing more than to be close to this man again. However, since they were surrounded by stormtroopers, sitting next to him would have to suffice for the time being. 

[Don't go] he repeated. [Come and sit with me.] He placed a gloved hand on the seat next to him, in indication of where he hoped the other man would sit. As Hux turned toward him, Kylo let his eyes roam over the General's body from his head down to his feet and back up again. He looked weary and pale, though Ren wasn't quite sure if he really looked all that much  _ more _ pale than usual, and dark circles lay chiseled into the flesh below each of his beautiful eyes. Yet somehow he still managed to look stately in his fitted black uniform - majestic and regal and beautiful. 

Ren blinked, taken aback by the wave of desire that washed over him then. How he wished they were alone on that ship, but it was no use wishing. After patting the seat next to him, he removed his hand from it and placed it back in his lap, hoping that the weary General would join him.

Green flickered over to meet brown in a subtle form confirming with Ren that he had heard him. "Good work men, carry on," he stated to the crew. 

[I'm not a damn cat, Ren, you don't have to pat a seat for me to come to you.] Hux gave one last official look-over to the stormtroopers before turning his gaze back to Ren. The man embodied everything that new recruits speculated - he was a living shadow, all hard lines and deadly edges. His black cloak looked like an extension of himself, and perhaps there was a metaphor in there somewhere: dark, encompassing, fear-inducing, yet, at the same time, comfortable and soft. He was not aristocratic like Hux - he did not hold himself straight-backed and at attention. And that drew the General toward him even more. Ren did not rule out of title, he ruled out of power. 

In just a few, measured strides, the ginger took residence beside the knight, just an inch closer than what was strictly necessary. [Just a few minutes, now.] "Are you adequately prepared, Lord Ren, for what may await you?" [Us] Hux corrected mentally, eyes flicking to the crew. [I don't want them with us.]

Ren tried to hide the smile that flitted over his lips as Hux sat down very near to him. Having him so close again caused a flush to rise in Ren's neck, cheeks, and ears. He swore silently at his own weakness, but stopped when he heard the General press another thought into his mind. 'I don't want them with us,' it had said. 

He turned his face to look straight into Hux's eyes, which were now relatively close to his own. He was suddenly overcome with the desire to lean in and kiss him right there, but somehow he managed to resist the urge, and tore his gaze away from the General's before pushing a reply into his mind. 

[I don't want them with us either] he thought. [In fact I  _ need _ them  _ not _ to be] he added. Lifting his countenance to face Hux again, he fixed the man with an imploring look. [Force, Hux... I... ] He wasn't sure what he really wanted to say, but he  _ had _ to try and say  _ something _ . [Hux...] 

His inner voice was soft and frail, almost trembling. [Do you regret what happened? Between us?] Once the question was placed in the General's mind, there was no taking it back, and Ren found that he was terrified to hear what answer might be given to him. But he had to know.

Ren was close, so close, and Hux had to steel his resolve to not lean in and close those few inches between them. His brow furrowed at the pleading and desperation that came with the other's question. Did he regret what had happened? No, of course not. If he had, the ginger would not be so close, so open, so willing to be vulnerable to the other man. [Ren--Kylo, the other night was--]

"We have arrived at the planet, General. We will commence landing shortly," the pilot interrupted.

Hux pursed his lips, nodded shakily, and turned to the man, "Good. Do so quickly. I don't want to spend any more time on this shuttle than I must."

"Yes, Sir."

"Well done, crew," he commended, swiveling back to his companion. "I suppose this is where the mission truly begins, though I'm sure this travel was a trial of whether or not we would kill one another."

[Kylo--]

"Commencing landing protocols."

[I'm going to kill that pilot.] The General snarled inwardly. Instead of giving Ren a direct answer - that was a conversation that they needed to have, alone - he added, [You always call me Hux or General. My first name is Calic, do with it what you will. But no one knows it, really.]


	3. True Power

It had been all Ren could do to keep from bursting into laughter at Hux's comment about wanting to kill the pilot.   His playful amusement turned to astonished incredulity, though, as the poker-faced soldier before him offered something more precious than Ulikuo gemstones - a glimpse into his private life. His eyes widened and lips parted in surprise before returning to their usual placid demeanor. 

[Calic] he projected, with a subtle nod. [It is good to make your acquaintance.] It wasn't until they were in the midst of landing the ship that Ren was jolted back to reality sufficiently to realize that Hux had effectively dodged his question about the previous night, but he couldn't quite be annoyed, given what the man had offered him in its stead. Surely he couldn't have harbored much regret, if he was willing to reveal that part of himself to Kylo.

The landing was bumpy, and in the process, the two men were jostled sufficiently that Ren reached out to steady himself, and grabbed hold of Hux's arm. A surge of electricity shot through him at the unexpected contact, and in that instance he knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that whatever had passed between the two of them was far from over. In truth, it had only just begun.

The start of the turbulent landing caused Hux to frown, turning to keep an eye on the crew. When the shuttle continued to jostle, he glared at the pilot. "Care to land us in one piece?" 

Some fact about hyperwinds came back to him the moment after he had snapped at the man, but he didn't care. The shuttle rattled again, and Kylo had reached out to grab Hux’s arm for support.  The shivers that the touch alone caused him shook the ginger to his core. 

He snapped his gaze back to Ren, green eyes swimming with clashing emotions, his mind shooting thoughts rapid-fire without him noticing. [Scared to crash--hate flying--Ren--never learned--they could see--don't let go--regret--grip too tight--Ren--nervous--don't want to die--can't sleep--ghosts--Kylo.] 

He turned his focus to the hard grip on his arm, trying to block out the slowly decreasing rocking of the shuttle. He swallowed, made sure that only Ren could see him properly, and closed his eyes. [The pilot can handle it] he told himself internally. [The ship is safe. It will land. Ren is crushing my arm.]  "Force, I want to be on the ground."

The barrage of thoughts from the General's mind hit him in unexpected waves, and the emotion surrounding them made his head throb. Forcing himself to relax his grip on Hux's arm, he glanced over and was shocked to see that the man's face was impassive as ever. Once more, he was impressed by the officer's ability to keep his particular mask in place, even when he was screaming on the inside. 

Now that the shuttle had landed safely - if somewhat battered - on the planet's surface, Ren drew back his hand from Hux's arm and rubbed it together with his other hand in a futile attempt to discharge the remainder of the electrical current he'd felt moments earlier. 

He rose from his seat in preparation to exit the shuttle, but Hux's frantic thoughts continued to echo through his mind. Some of them were easily discernible, like his disdain for flying, inability to sleep, and Kylo's vice-like grip on him... But others were more vague. Ghosts... Regret... Never learned... They could see... The meanings behind these ideas were much more elusive. Filing these thoughts away until a time when they could be alone to talk in private, Kylo Ren returned his helmet to his head, and made his way to the cockpit to address the pilot. 

"What are the surface conditions? Is it safe to go outside without protective gear?" 

The pilot answered with a curt nod. "Yes, Lord Ren," he said. "The atmosphere is breathable and temperature is stable." 

The imposing Force wielder considered his options. He could use the force to ensure that no one tried to follow the General and himself, he could simply kill them all, (unnecessary and wasteful, he thought), or possibly his best option, to allow General Hux to issue the order that they remain on board the shuttle and hope that they were compliant. These were, after all, Hux's men - not his. Directing a nod towards the redhead, he whispered silently, [I'm leaving this to you. They are your men - they'll obey your orders.]

The General’s heartbeat stuttered back to normal once the ship had stopped all movement. The engines powered down with a soft hum. Hux had to stop himself from instantly following the knight when he moved away - wanting to gravitate toward the other. He could still distinctly feel where each of those long fingers had held his arm, bruises no doubt already forming thanks to the ginger's complexion. It reminded him of--that was a thought to play with at a different time. Instead he focused on listening to the pilot, as the stormtrooper rattled off the conditions around them. Heavy footfalls and a simple dismissal in his mind were the only warning the General got before Ren was striding out of the ship, alone.

"Sir," one of the crew greeted, her voice like liquid metal.

Hux stood and rolled his shoulders. "Lieutenant." The crew waited for him to continue, not moving toward the exit, just watching. "You have orders to remain with the shuttle?"

"Yes, sir."

"Good. I was going to warn you to do so, Ren's temperament being what it is in regard to stormtroopers," he made a point to seem resentful instead of tired, irritated instead of relieved. "I have my communicator and will send you updates daily. You know the protocols. At ease." He didn't wait for a salute before taking his leave. 

"Carry on."

[Now, we're on our own.]

Once he had exited the shuttle, Ren scanned the landscape. The surface was barren - seemingly devoid of life. There were no trees, nor any other vegetation on the horizon in any direction. It seemed there was a vast  _ nothingness _ as far as the eye could see, but upon closer inspection, Ren noticed that the ground shifted several yards in front of him, in some sort of indentation. 

With a temporary jolt, he remember what Hux had said about the giant sinkholes that pock marked the planet, and the hyperwind storms that took place on the surface. Any type of life forms that existed here would have evolved to survive within the sinkholes, using the nontraditional geography as protection from the gales that decimated everything above. He had just come to this conclusion as he heard the footsteps of General Hux walking up behind him. 

Kylo turned to watch the ginger approach, and smiled before realizing that Hux wouldn't be able to see it anyway, since he still had his mask in place. "We needn't communicate telepathically out here," he said as the other man reached him. "It may not be obvious, but that type of force control is difficult to maintain. It weakens me - drains me of the strength I need to channel the force. I think in a potentially hostile environment such as this, it would be best for me to retain all the Force energy I can." He tilted his head downward, loathe to admit that even  _ he _ had limits on his Force abilities. 

Hux quirked a brow, feigning shock, "The great Master of the Knights of Ren is mortal? He gets tired?" He gave a small smile, "who would have known?" He took in the barren landscape and frowned at the mechanical voice now talking to him. It didn't bother him for Ren to admit his limitations, it didn't irk him to have the man out of his mind, either, but that garbled voice was like claws in his ears. It felt like a barrier - like the force-user was trying to set up a wall to keep the ginger out. He could barely predict and read the man without the helmet.  With it, it was like trying to hit a target, in the dark, while on fire. They were finally alone, and he couldn't help but feel as though he was now further away from the other man than before, but maybe that was just his own delusions again. 

Pointing to what he now believed was a massive crater before them, Kylo explained his line of thought to the General. "I suppose it would be the logical place to begin looking," he said with a slight shrug. There were numerous questions swirling through his mind -  _ so many _ questions he wanted to ask the man standing beside him, but he wanted to put some more distance between themselves and the First Order Shuttle before delving into them.

Hux shrugged at the suggestion to go investigate a giant hole in the ground, not at all missing the ironic shift in his mood - while on the shuttle, he wanted out so badly that, at one point, he’d thought of just jumping into space.  Now that he was outside, he wanted to crawl back in the ship and take refuge there. 

"Logical?” He huffed.  “Nothing about this mission has been logical so far, Kylo. But, fine. Let's start there." He paused after taking a few steps. "The crew was already ordered to stay with the shuttle. I suppose they are just glorified babysitters, after all." He cocked his head, subtly motioning for the taller man to come with him.

Following after Hux, Ren felt a wave of emotion flowing off Hux and over himself, not at all pleasantly. Having felt somewhat reassured by the last chain of events that had unfolded on board the shuttle, he couldn't imagine what was bothering the General now that they were on solid ground. 

"What's the matter?" he asked aloud, purposely avoiding the use of the name Hux had told him just moments earlier. It just felt... _ unnatural _ . To him, this man's name was simply 'General Hux'. In truth, he'd given little thought to whether he even  _ had _ a first name, though Ren supposed that he'd always assumed that he did. He would need to work on that, though. Hux had lowered his defenses enough to share his given name; the least Ren could do was to  _ use _ it from time to time. 

Observing that the ginger haired man continued trudging forward without answering his query, Kylo stopped walking and sighed. Throwing up his hands in frustration, he called out loudly, "Calic!"

He froze. Completely still and not at all under Ren's power. To actually hear his name in the baritone drip of the other's voice completely stalled him - his mind went offline for a moment. He should be nothing - the knight was already in his head, what did one word mean? 

Repower-reboot. Hux blinked, re-aware of himself. Of course it meant something. There was so much more power in a name than in a title or a thought. A name was a life, and he had given his over to this dark angel while asking for nothing in return. It was a surrender, but in the best way possible. Slowly, he turned back to face the other - his mask now shattered somewhere on the ground in invisible fragments of glass.

His mother had once told him of a lore from long ago. A story of mankind. She said that everyone had three faces. The first face, you show to the world. The second face, you show to your close friends, and your family. The third face, you never show anyone. It is the truest reflection of who you are. In that moment, with just one word, Ren had stripped him of his first face and left him in a dazed state. The swiftness of the self-reveal made him dizzy.

"Ask me again further away from the shuttle."

Ren nodded in agreement, and decided to push the issue aside and focus on exploring the sink hole in the distance. He took a few long strides until he had caught up with the General, matching his pace to walk beside him, and mentally chastised himself for the passing temptation to take the other man's hand in his own.  Ren decided in that moment that he must surely be losing his mind.

Hux purposely brushed his hand against Ren's, trying to convey his own impulses to be closer. The force-user, however either didn't notice or didn't care, and the General sighed and pulled back into his own personal space. 

After they'd covered several meters in silence, the two men reached the edge of an enormous sinkhole. It was a ragged circular hole in the ground, roughly half a mile in diameter, with vertical cliff faces extending downward, far enough that they could not see the bottom. On the far side of the hole, he could just barely make out what looked like a gigantic animal skeleton, though he had never seen an animal that looked like that before. 

Glancing over at Hux, he asked, "Did you bring the macrobinoculars? I want to have a look at that skeletal structure across the cavern."

As they stood at the edge of the sinkhole, the ginger moved to look down into it. This wasn't just a crater, the earth vanished away into darkness with how deep it was. "Hmm? Oh, yeah." He handed the other man his bag instead of finding the binoculars himself. 

He moved away from the edge and looked back at the shuttle in the distance. "Ren? Can we clear a few things up before we do anything else?"

"Mhmm..." the younger man mumbled as he brought the macrobinoculars into focus on the skeletal structure across the cavern. In the zoom vision of the binoculars, it was very clear that this was  _ not _ an animal skeleton. It was comprised of large animal bones, but the structure it outlined was not an animal - it was a building! 

"Uhh...Hux...we may have a little problem," he said quietly, the realization creeping in that there were sentient beings living in this sinkhole, and if there were humanoids living here, it was highly likely they were already in possession of the kyber crystals they'd come to seek. Pulling the macrobinoculars away from his face, he turned to look at his companion, and suddenly realized that Hux was staring at him intently, waiting for the younger man to grant his full attention. 

"What is it, Hux?" he asked, his mind suddenly firmly fixed back in the present time and place. The look on the other man's face was somber, nervous even, and instinctively, Ren reached up and removed the helmet from his head, tucking it under his arm. His jet black hair fell gracefully into place, framing his face in a black halo. Reaching out in the force, he enveloped Hux with a heavy warmth, like a familiar hand-stitched quilt. His heart rate quickened as the flood of questions, unanswered, came rushing back to him, and he gently pressed into Hux's mind with his own, holding eye contact all the while. 

[I'm here, Hux.... _ Calic _ ...] then audibly, "Talk to me."

Hux desperately tried to put his persona back in place, but when that warmth hit him, so unbridled, he just broke further. He covered his face with his hands, shaking his head as he took a few steps back and away from this being before him - being, because no human had ever made the ginger feel so insignificant in power while also so important in value. 

He shook, unable to help himself as he tried to get control - tried to chase away the internal conflict and paradox. 

"I can't...I can't, I can't," he spoke to himself, but knew Ren was listening. This is what passion, pain, desire, endearment--and one more deep emotion that Hux was not yet willing to think about because it made his chest hurt and his heart ache - this is what it does. He shook for a few more moments before moving so one hand covered his eyes, and the other extended out to Ren.

The swell of emotion coming from Hux was overwhelming, and Ren gasped softly as it washed over him like an acid rain. "Hux..." he breathed, instantly reaching out for the other man's hand and pulling him closer to himself. "It's alright," he whispered, baffled by the normally stoic man's exclamations, but desiring only to ease the pain that radiated from him in waves. 

The knight reached out with his other hand, letting his mask, which had been tucked under his arm, fall to the ground with a loud thud. Gently, he grasped the trembling hand Hux was using to cover his face and, tenderly but firmly, he pulled it away, revealing the pale green eyes that reminded Ren of deep pools of still water. He could no longer tell where Hux's feelings ended and his own began, and he felt as if his heart might burst. "Hux..." He whispered again, unable to form a coherent thought in the moment.

Hux felt himself being grounded in reality again through Ren's touch, and he stumbled slightly closer when the knight gently pulled on his outstretched hand. Get it together, get it together. Something hit the dusty ground with a resounding thump. It seemed so loud - as though the dropping of the object was more symbolic than it was actual. 

There were the delusions, again, making things seem as if they were any more than what they were - an object hit the ground, Ren's hand grabbed his, this was all reality. Symbolism and all these sudden breakdowns - all those were illusion. No, no, no - focus. Get it together. Stop breaking, be strong, stop being broken! 

He was so tired, practically sleepwalking at this point. When Ren's other hand suddenly embraced the one covering Hux's eyes, the ginger let out another small sound. He had to get himself back. Frozen. Cold. Ice. But he couldn't quite put the pieces together. Cracks appearing. Melting. Shattering. When his eyes were finally revealed again, he tried to hold his gaze steady. He clenched his jaw to keep it from chattering. He tensed his back and shoulders to soften his shaking. He tried, failed, and tried again to harden his gaze, but it was a lost cause. His eyes betrayed him and bit by bit, the cracks spider-webbed across his metaphorical armor. He shook his head. 

"Kylo...I..." He swallowed, steeled himself with all the strength he had left. His words were overlapped with the thoughts he was accidentally firing off as well. "What [I can't] did you [let me go]...see [don't]?"

Ren's eyes widened slightly as he was reminded of the thing he'd just seen on the far side of the sinkhole, but he shook his head. None of it mattered in that moment - the people living in the cliff face, the crystals, even Snoke himself was nothing in light of what he was feeling now - what  _ Hux _ was feeling now. 

"It can wait," he insisted. "We're in no immediate danger here." 

Ren was beside himself. He wanted to pull the General close and hold him till the storm of emotion blew over - to kiss him so hard that there was nothing left in the world but the two of them. Most of all, though, he wanted to calm the frightened man in front of him - to ease his pain and heal the wounds that were slowly becoming visible as  _ years _ of coverings were being stripped away. 

Kylo Ren - Master of the Dark Side and apprentice to the most powerful being in the galaxy - suddenly found himself brought low under the weight of the General's faltering gaze, and suddenly the master became the slave. Releasing Hux's hands, he cupped the frantic man's face, gently but firmly, in his strong hands and leaned in until the General's face was mere inches from his own. Ever so softly, he pressed into the other's mind. [You're safe with me, Hux. I will  _ never _ let anyone hurt you.]

The General's hands gripped Ren's wrists, such a stark contrast they made - pale skin against the black leather of those gloves. He was suddenly so close to the other man, eyes able to only look into the brown orbs just a few breaths away. He wanted to close the distance, he wanted to pull away, he wanted to whisper secrets, he wanted to yell at the inappropriate, unprofessional behavior being displayed. 

[So tired.] Get. It. Together. Having the force-user's voice back in his head, now, was so different from before. It didn't feel like someone else hiding away in his mind, but, rather, it felt like Ren was the only voice there. Hux bit his lip unconsciously while he tried to riddle out what that observation meant - was he so far gone that he didn't even feel like he occupied his own mind, or had the knight become such a fixture there that when he was gone, the open area he left itched and yearned for him to come back? Or was he just that good at the Force and the ginger never stopped to notice it? He did, now.

Hux rolled forward slightly, pressing up onto his toes so he could press his forehead against the knight's. He closed his eyes and took a long, steadying breath. He grounded himself again, there, and drew on some invisible source of strength to settle his thoughts enough to focus. 

[Sorry.] Slowly, he came back to himself - shaking subsiding, heartbeat slowing, ghosts and shadows retreating from the power belonging to the man before him. [Sorry.] He drew back enough to look into the taller man's eyes. [Sorry.]

The entire planet seemed to slip away as the lost ginger found his way out of the blinding fog, back to Ren. When Hux pulled back far enough to look into the taller man's eyes, Ren could stand it no longer. Taking hold of the general by the shoulders of his greatcoat, the young knight pulled him forcefully to himself and kissed him, pouring all of himself into the connection, both physical and emotional. 

He thought his heart might burst, that familiar electricity swelling in his chest, as he pressed his lips against Hux's. The floodgates of his soul were opened, and he released all the feelings fighting to escape into that kiss - the longing and passion, jealousy, rage, insecurity, and need to dominate - they all flowed through him and dissolved in the light of day as he surrendered his soul to man with the fiery hair and icy eyes. He squeezed his own eyes shut, forcing himself to focus as he pressed into Hux's mind, never breaking the kiss. [Don't be sorry. . . Don't be sorry. . . I want you. . . I need you. . . Just you.]

Hux had been surprised for a fleeting second when he was suddenly jerked forward, hands falling from Ren's wrists to rest against his chest for balance. He closed his eyes against the onslaught of emotion that flowed between them when the force-user's lips met his. The ginger pushed back against the other and the heat that radiated from the kiss, countering him every step of the way and sending him messages in return - the desperation, nervous timidity, instability, passion, want, desire, the want to keep control and the need to trust someone else to have it. All of it was passed from him to the other as they stayed in that moment and that kiss. 

Hux’s hands clawed into the black fabric beneath them as he gave into the power of his perfect reflection - because that was what Ren was, wasn't it? Just as broken as he was, but his perfect opposite? Commanding fear out of power instead of power out of fear, pushing instead of pulling, steadfast instead of hesitant, brazen instead of calculative, impulsive instead of patient. They had been in this dance for far too long, all the twists and turns along the way always bringing them back into a hold that would keep them close and in step with one another. [You have me...keep me...only me.]

When he finally drew back, Kylo was breathless and flushed, panting to regain his breath. He tugged the other man close and wrapped his strong arms around him, willing his heart to calm. It had been like a dam in flood season, finally burst open to relieve the pressure that had built from trying to hold back too much water for too long. He stifled a sob as he clung for dear life, breathing in the scent of Hux's hair and lightly kissing the crown of his head. Never in his life had he felt so connected with another person as he did in that moment, and though he didn't want to let go, he knew they were exposed, standing on the rim of the giant sinkhole, like a beacon on the shore. Still not willing to relinquish his hold, though, he whispered, "What did you want to clear up, Calic?" and smiled, knowing that what had just passed between them had answered every question he'd had.

The General hid his face against Ren, heart pounding and warm all over. He was enveloped in the other man, wrapped up like a living gift. He closed his eyes, effectively concealing the water that had built up and threatened to fall in the last few moments, and tried to press himself impossibly nearer. All his sleep deprivation and now all the emotional turmoil finally clashed, leaving him utterly wrecked and hollow. He could fall asleep, here, against the force-user in the middle of the day, if he would actually allow himself to. Standing here, out in the sun, was so different than what he was used to. The light was not blinding, but comforting. This didn't feel sterile and superficial, it felt warm and real and…

"Shut up, Kylo," he finally answered the other's question. He could feel Ren's soft laugh rumble from the chest he was still clinging to. He felt so safe, so protected, and he didn't want to ever move again. He played with the thought and wish for a moment that, somehow, they would be turned into living statues and would forever be wrapped around each other at the edge of this sinkhole - and that was another metaphor for him to ponder. At the edge of a giant pit, holding onto someone while looking over the rim and preparing to climb down together. He slowly pulled back, stopping again when he could look at the other man. "I think everything has already been said."

At the words spoken, Ren smiled fondly. "I know," he grinned. How desperately he wished they were somewhere else - back on the Finalizer, or Starkiller Base, where they could be alone in peace and comfort. Briefly, he entertained the idea of leaving right then. He and Hux could pilot the shuttle themselves. They could leave the crew behind and run away to some tropical planet. But it was a passing thought. Even if it was within the realm of possibility, he knew Snoke would find them, and his wroth would be terrible. 

With a sigh, he contented himself with the thought that there would be plenty of time for such things later. They would not be on this planet forever.  Suddenly, the memory of what he'd spotted on the other side of the sinkhole came rushing back. 

Releasing his grip on the General, his face turned solemn. "We are not alone. There is a settlement built into the cliff wall on the other side of the cavern. That's what I spotted before. They've used the bones to build their habitations." He handed the macrobinoculars to Hux. "Take a look."

"Bones?" He took the offered field glasses and shifted his attention to where the knight once was looking. Milky white stood out against the rocks. He adjusted the vision, zooming further. The architecture before him was beautifully unsettling. It looked like more like a shrine commemorating a graveyard than any settlement that he had seen on less primitive planets. But, when your planet was literally caving in on itself, survival needs outweighed luxury. 

"That is..." Hux fixed his gaze on the center of the structure. "Highly unfortunate." The design was simple, yet intricate. Each bone was fastened to the next in a skeletal system of balance and foundation. "Those are not all from the same creature, Kylo. It's a collection." He brought his focus back to Ren, handing the binoculars back to his companion. "More, it's a distraction and inconvenience to our mission."

Ren nodded thoughtfully. "We could attempt to avoid them. Surely there are areas that are unsettled. We could go back to the shuttle and have them set down in another location..." He sighed, leaning down to pick up the helmet he'd dropped a moment earlier. "I would rather not set foot back on that shuttle," he grumbled, shaking his head.

Kylo turned his head to regard the man beside him. It had been less than a minute since they had broken their embrace, but already it felt so far removed from reality that he wondered whether it hadn't been all in his imagination. He wondered if it would always feel this way - hot or cold, blinding pleasure or excruciating pain, breathing as one or utterly severed. Why could it not be somewhere in between? But then, his whole life had been like that. Kylo Ren was not a creature of happy mediums - everything he did was to one extreme or another. There was no in between. 

He cleared his throat, hoping to also clear his mind. This was not the time to be reflecting on such intangibles matters when there were concrete plans to be made. "What are your orders, General?" he asked, half teasing, but genuinely interested in his opinion on their best course of action.

Hux crossed his arms, holding tightly to his own sleeves to try and avoid the temptation to go back to holding onto Ren's, "I don't want to go back, either. I'd much rather stay on the ground than fly, well, anywhere." He had replaced one icy mask for another, something about his title being spoke - even jokingly - snapped his back straight and his mind back into that of his military persona. 

"Avoiding the natives is hardly a wise move, Lord Ren. If there are people down there, and I suspect there are, they may very well know where we can find those crystals and then we can go back to the Finalizer, successful, and go back to ignoring one another year round until one night where we break down again." 

It was meant to be poking fun at the situation, but the tinge of fear that crept into his voice at the prospect of somehow going back and letting all this vanish shifted the meaning from a tease to a hopeless plea. He gripped his sleeves tighter. "Night will fall before we ever get over there, but there looks to be a cliff we could stay on, over there, until dawn." He pointed along the rim of the sinkhole before clasping his hand back into his sleeve.

All these impulses he had around Ren - all these pieces of broken glass that were entirely the fault of the force-user - were twitching just beneath the surface of the ginger's cognitive thought. Whispers of cliche dreams like relaxing and watching a sunset together, holding each other on dreary mornings by the sea, walking with one another - fingers entwined, laying in bed, late into the morning with Ren hovering over him were crushed below the aching reality that was. 

Immediately, Kylo perceived the change in the General's demeanor - a switch flipped, from warm to icy, like the sudden drop in temperature before a tornado. Hux's words turned Kylo's blood cold, to match the chill In the atmosphere. He /thought/ he could detect a hint of teasing in the ginger's tone, but he wasn't completely sure. Regardless, the words themselves turned his stomach. What kind of sick game was Hux playing at? He decided to ignore the jab, and nodded at the suggestion to hike around the ravine. "A  _ logical _ deduction, as always, General," he snapped, wincing at the bite in his own words.

Hux's heart fell in on itself. All of those dreams flitting through his mind were nothing more than passing fantasy. There really wasn't a foreseeable outcome that would end in anything other than pain and tragedy. Besides...Ren didn't deserve to have to put up with everything that plagued the General. 

"If you're in agreement with that plan, we should start the long walk." He felt like he could collapse at any moment. But he shook that away with all of his hopes and desires.

"Yes.  Well.  We'd better get started if we want to make camp before nightfall," Kylo said in a softer tone, as an inexplicable wave of sadness - even despair - washed over him. With a heavy sigh, he placed the mask back over his head and started in the direction Hux had indicated.

"Ren," Hux started, cutting himself off as the other man brushed past him. Fleeting moments, his inner voice supplied, never last. He sighed, following the other by a few paces. The mask was back, the mental door slammed shut. It was like nothing had happened, like nothing had changed, and the moment they’d just had was nothing more than a memory. He tried to think of something to say, some conversation to start, but his mind refused to supply anything more than doubt and cackling voices. 

They trudged onward, watching the sunset, but not the way the ginger had hoped. Instead of this being a peaceful moment with beautiful colors, the light reflected off the metal shielding Ren from him, shining across it like a flame - destructive and indomitable. Not yours, a voice hissed in his head. Never was, another supplied. Hux shook them off, increasing his pace to walk beside the taller man instead of trail in his shadow.

They walked in silence for what seemed like hours, though it was probably only 30 minutes, Kylo thought. It was a deafening silence - the worse kind - heavy with words unspoken, but clawing to be freed. Finally, the sulking young knight could not stand it a moment longer. Clearing his throat, he spoke, his voice low and sonorous through the electronic apparatus in his helmet. "Do you know what the average low temperature is on this planet at night?" It was an empty question, since they were geared with specially made camping equipment that would ensure a sustainable climate inside, no matter what the external temperature might be, but it was the only thing he could come up with to fill the void. The only thing, that is, other than the obvious option of being open and honest with his feelings, but openly discussing emotions had never been Kylo's strong suit. 

He considered attempting to press his way into the other man's mind without being detected, to try and ferret out exactly what he was thinking, but ultimately decided against it, reasoning that he probably didn't  _ want _ to know. Just a little ways farther, he thought to himself. I can do this.

"Have we really reached the point where we're commenting on the weather?" The General deadpanned. "It's an arid, temperate planet, Ren. It acts like an arid, temperate planet at night, too." Force, he hated how jagged the knight's voice became - the normal smooth baritone torn apart and then stitched back together with electronics and digital hisses. Ren always wanted to sound more like Darth Vader, but that voice was too artificial, too remodeled, to be anything but nails dragging across tile. 

They were so close to their destination, and the ginger could not be more grateful for that. This awkward walk was tense and heavy. At least after they had set up camp he could pretend to sleep or suddenly take up meditation. He felt a whisper of a knock against the mental doorway, as though Ren was considering one thing or another. "I already invited you in my head once, Lord Ren, do not think I will make the same vocalization again." So close, they were so close to ending their walk and being able to just pretend they were too busy to continue this completely inescapable tension. 

Just a few minutes.  He could handle a few more minutes. The galaxy seemed to think otherwise. Something suddenly shifted. Some mental chink that he had been suppressing since this mission began. He blinked hard, shaking his head. His strides stumbled as his adrenaline finally wore off and left him with no energy to spare. 

So close. They were so close. 

He pushed himself forward, refusing to stop. Refusing to wait for it to pass. He could handle this. 

Ever closer. He sighed softly. He hated this whole mission.

Ren grunted in reply and kept on walking with his eyes straight ahead. After a few more minutes, it occurred to Ren that he was having difficulty sensing Hux's energy pattern. Alarmed by the realization, he turned around to the sight of the determined general trudging forward, eyes lolling back in his head as if he was about to---

Before he could completely assemble the pieces of the scene unfolding behind him, General Hux began to crumple before his eyes. "Hux!" he shouted, thrusting out his hands suddenly to catch the falling man in the Force before he could hit the ground. Half rushing to the levitating figure, and half force pulling the figure toward himself, they met in the middle. Ren allowed the Force to drop Hux into his arms just as the last light of consciousness left Hux's eyes, and his head fell back limply. 

"Ohhh no. No no no no NO!  You don’t get to do this to me.  Hux, you're going to be ok! Hang in there!" he nearly shouted the words, even though he knew the volume of his voice would not affect whether the unconscious man could hear him or not. 

Quickening his pace, Ren carried him the rest of the way to place Hux had pointed out - a sheltered area in the cliff face where they could safely spend the night before traveling the rest of the way around the cavern in the morning. A million thoughts raced through his head as he carried the limp form of the General in his strong arms.  When had Hux last eaten?  Last had a drink of water?  Had he been sleeping?  Could he be diabetic?  Ren had no answers - only the driving determination to reach a safe place where he could set up camp and keep Hux safe.

Once he'd reached their destination, the frantic Force user laid Hux down gently, and pulled a canteen of water out of his satchel. Splashing some of the cool, clear liquid onto his hands, Kylo softly patted the face of the unconscious Hux, as if in doing so, he could wipe away the mask of sleep that had overtaken him. With Hux unresponsive, but breathing steadily, he set to work setting up the shelter they would spend the night in. Darkness would be falling soon, and he did not want to take any chances with unexpected weather anomalies or flesh-eating nocturnal beasts. 

Once everything was set, he lifted the General as gently as he could, and carried him inside, sitting on the ground and placing the other man's head in his lap. He looked so peaceful - almost childlike - that for an instant, Kylo almost hoped the man would remain unconscious till morning. At least that way he'd be sure to get the rest his body and soul so desperately needed. Looking down on him, Ren ran his fingers through the auburn hair he so adored, and couldn't help but long for the moment when Hux would open those hypnotic green eyes to meet his own.

Hux was floating in nothingness. Everything blurred into a living darkness - it moved and fluctuated, danced and dispersed. Something moved him gently toward a source of warmth. Everything shifted, moved, shifted back. A distant noise tried to break through the blackness, but was swallowed down until it was nothing more than a muffled hum of white noise. More movement, more drifting.

Wisps of images played around the edge of his subconsciousness, teasing caresses to his offline mind. Someone singing, shouts of victory, planets suddenly gone in smoke. A memory - sitting, alone in his quarters, lights dimmed, balanced on the edge of his bed staring at his hands (so much red, there's so much red, there)--the weapon worked (can't get it off, the red is such a contrast to his pale skin, painted on his hands like an artist's stroke)--the longer he looked at them, the more red was there (so much)--five planets gone, the last day of the New Republic (it's stained there, now--it won't go away). The ghosts appeared that night and hadn't left since.

Something wet was dabbed against him. More movement, less drifting. Something was soothing, suddenly. A touch from far away. (It's still there, the red.) Something gentle, like petting. (The ghosts are fading.) Carding...something...through his hair - what is it? Fingers? Long fingers. Whose? The darkness faded as the stroking continued, pulling Hux back to it, his mind following the motion as it scratched down his scalp. 

Finally, his eyes fluttered open. He was disoriented at first, this is not where he had been moments before. Or had it been longer than that?  He couldn’t remember.  Then his eyes locked with the chestnut ones looking down on him. Ren. Ren's fingers carding through his hair. Ren's lap he was in. "Hey, there."

"Hey there, yourself," Ren said softly, his heart turning somersaults as jade eyes fluttered open at last. He was so relieved to see Hux awake and coherent that their most recent round of emotional sabotage was temporarily forgotten. 

"You gave me quite a scare," Ren confessed. "When I saw you start to fall..." He broke off, feeling the tickle at the back of his throat threatening to choke him into sobs if he continued to speak. Swallowing hard, and with a deep steadying breath, he went on. "Promise me you will take better care of yourself...Calic."  He resumed the motion of stroking the ginger hair with his long fingers. "If I ever lost you. . . I'd go mad." 

A chill ran down his spine as he realized it was absolutely true; he'd come to rely on General Hux in a professional sense long ago. But over the past few days he'd come to realize that his dependence on the calculating military officer stretched far beyond the realm of politics and procedures. He'd become Ren's anchor - his tether to reality. When he was spiraling out of control, it was Hux who could pull him back to ground and soothe his pain. 

Of course, he reflected, it was also Hux who, more often than not, was the  _ cause _ of the volatile young man's tantrums. But then, something had shifted between them. The order of power had been tossed on its head and left both men gasping for breath as they were sucked into a sea of passion and chaos - a beautiful calamity.

All these thoughts raced through Ren's mind in a matter of seconds, leaving ripples of hope, need, and desire in their wake. He forced a smile as he looked down on the face of the man who had somehow become his whole world. "Without you, I would be utterly lost."

The last of the darkness faded from the General’s mind once Ren spoke. His voice chased away all that haunted Hux - all the voices, all the red, all the shadows - and left him warm, and here, and alive. 

Seeing the force-user choked up with emotion confused his still disoriented brain, until the hushed words spoken to him finally fell into the correct sequence. Those dark eyes somehow seemed lighter, now. A new spark in them, a re-envisioned life that twisted and morphed into something more than just emotion and pain. It took his breath away - the words, the emotion, the new light. The fingers that still played in his hair were so gentle - so unlike the man they belonged to normally was - and, by Force, the way that the knight said his name sent shivers through him that rattled his bones.

"We're all mad, here," the General whispered in response - neither a true answer to anything said, nor a dismissal. He tried looking at the two of them, and all that had happened, from the eyes of a stranger.  When had the dance changed? The normal, deadly-edged tango - so filled with passion fueled by anger and hatred - had slowed to a waltz. The music was different, the steps were different, but they moved with each other, still. 

When had they stopped getting lost in fighting about which way the holding position would go - who would lead, and instead started getting lost in one another? When had Calic ever been willing to admit all of this to himself so freely? 

A soft smile painted itself onto the ginger's lips, almost not even there. This man, this being made up of stars and moonlight and power and passion, had somehow broken past all his defenses, all the walls that he'd built so high - not to keep people out, but rather to see if anyone ever cared enough to get in. "Force, you have me..."

"Do I?" Ren looked intently down at Hux, whose head still rested in his lap. His fiery hair lay swept backward in even parts where the Force user’s long fingers had brushed through it over and over. His slender face was pale - paler than usual, due to his recent loss of consciousness. But even as Kylo watched, he could see the color begin to return to the fair cheeks, and those pale green eyes, the color of the ocean on a cloudy day, looked back up at him. Never before had a living creature looked so utterly beautiful to him, and he was suddenly overcome with jealousy for any person who had ever touched this man in a loving caress, or even dreamed of doing so. Something so perfect, he thought, must be his, and his alone.

Gently lifting the ginger's head and laying it to rest on the thin camp pillow, the knight stretched himself out next to Hux on the ground, draping an arm over the other man's waist and pulling him close, resting his head on the same pillow, face to face with the other. 

"Hux..." he started to say, but corrected himself immediately. "Calic. I want....I need..." He frowned, struggling to find the words to express what he was feeling, but came up painfully short. "Force..." He sighed in frustration. "How do you do this to me? With a single glance, you...  _ unravel _ me. All my best woven plans, my tightly fixed knots are completely undone in your presence." He lifted his hand from Hux's waist and used his fingertips to lightly trace the man's cheek bone, and his gaze drifted longingly to the lips he had kissed only hours before.

The ginger gazed back at the man lying beside him.  Something swirled in those depths of honey - something unspoken, lost in translation. Hux swallowed, eyes dropping to tempting, full lips as the other man spoke. Everything about him was so imperfectly perfect - rugged features, messy hair, high cheekbones. At times he seemed to not know how to function in his own body. Yet, he was so full of grace. He was everything that Hux had long ago decided he did not deserve to have. But here they were, face to face. 

If it weren't for the fact that everyone was so afraid of him on a normal basis (and even so) the Master of the Knights of Ren could woo anyone he wanted - after all, he captivated people. His very aura pulled people to him and shoved them away at the same time. Ren was dizzying. The raw sentiment and passion behind his words snapped Calic out of his own thoughts.

" _ I _ unravel  _ you _ ?" He chuckled. "Look what you do to me, Kylo. Look what you've already done." He shook his head as the other man drew patterns of fire across his cheek. "You strike me. So deeply. I can't...I can't hide with you. You force me out of my own head and bring me to the surface." 

He smiled, moving closer to the other. "You're a beacon for me - like those old lighthouses that used to guide ships to safety, but you always guide me back to you. And you make me safe. And warm.  And...you make me want... need..." He closed the last bit of distance in a soft kiss.

The General's words sent ripples of pleasure rush straight to his core. Was it possible that he affected Hux as much as Hux affected him? And then, as if reading his thoughts, the ginger had closed the space between them, and fireworks ignited behind Ren's eyes as their lips were pressed together. 

A soft whimper emitted from deep inside as he moved his hand back to the General's waist and pulled him tightly against himself, hooking one leg over the other man's, as if to wrap himself all the way around the ginger, claiming him for his own. His pulse quickened as his entire body was engulfed in a radiant warmth, both his soul and his body coming alive. Breathlessly pulling back from the kiss, he gazed at the face of the one who had captured his heart - the only one who could tame the beast inside him. The ginger's eyes were closed, lips slightly parted, and his breath was ragged, too. Resting his forehead against Calic's, Kylo whispered between breaths, "You're still weak. Maybe I should let you rest..."

"If you even think about stopping now, I will roll you off this cliff in your sleep." Hux's eyes opened, a dark frost mixing with the desire that lit up his gaze. "I may be tired,  _ Kylo _ , but I am not weak." 

Ren looked wrecked, already - his pupils blown wide, a flush to his cheeks, his grip already becoming too tight as he forgot to control his strength. The ginger rolled onto his back, pulling the dark haired man up as he went - he liked that. Liked having his dark angel above him and focused on only him. The tension that was present in the knight every day was washed away and replaced with a relaxed tautness. Those eyes were trained only on him, Ren's power completely under his control, even as he gave up his own to the Force-user in return. He wrapped his arms behind the other's neck. "Now," he smirked, "where were we?"

After being rolled to kneel astride the blushing ginger, Kylo Ren looked down on him from behind hooded eyes, now clouded with desire. His lips twisted into a mischievous grin at the words he heard spoken, and his pulse continued to pound its Prestissimo. Without another word, he swooped down to press his mouth to Hux's neck, letting his teeth and lips lightly graze upward over the delicate skin. Reaching his earlobe, Ren took it gently between his teeth before whispering, "Tell me...if I hurt you," in a breathy, panting voice. "I don't...want...to hurt you..." A moment later, the dark knight's deft fingers were at work, unbuttoning his uniform, desperate to feel the soft warmth of his skin.

Once his chest was exposed, Ren took a moment to admire the form of the man lying beneath him, completely at his mercy. His chest rose and fell in ragged breaths, smooth and fair. The only other time they'd been together had been such a frenzied whirlwind of passion that he hadn't really taken time to admire more than the ginger's face - handsome as it was. Here, tonight, he did not intend to make that mistake again.

Stripped of his uniform, the General became a man - warm flesh and blood replacing his icy cool facade. As if to reinforce the unveiling, he breathed the man's name - the name he'd told no one else. "Calic," he whispered, slowly trailing his fingertips from collarbone to hip bone. "Calic," he repeated, softer still, as he leaned back in to kiss his lips.

"You won't hurt me, Kylo," Hux breathed in return, shivering at the attention Ren showered him with. "I'm not made of china." He unwrapped his arms to start untying and unclasping the heavy black cloak that hung from the broad shoulders above him. He felt his uniform parting under those long fingers and pulled his hands back for a moment, watching as the knight looked down at him. The look in those eyes was nothing short of predatory, and, Force, if that wasn't attractive. Hearing his name fall from the other man like a prayer - like his name alone was a mythical chant - caused a small whimper to slip from his lips. People didn't look at him like that, people didn't glide their fingers over him like that, people didn't care like that. For some reason, one that the ginger could not place, Kylo looked at him like that, touched him like that, cared for him. 

Calic pulled the cloak off of Ren when he leaned down to kiss him again. That thick shadow now off of him, he looked much more human and, oddly, much less attainable. As though his descent from the stars did not so much grant him mortality and vulnerability, but rather made him that much more impressive and incredible. Hux scratched his fingers across Ren's back and to the buttons on his second layer shirt. He broke the kiss with a slight growl. 

"You have way too many layers. Do you expect everywhere to be a frozen planet and bundle up accordingly? Why don't you just wear a few articles of clothing or a uniform like a normal person?" He pulled on the dark fabric in his shaking fingers for emphasis.

Ren laughed, a breathy, hungry sound, as Hux commented on his attire. "It's armor, Hux," he whispered, trailing kisses down the other's neck to his collarbone and across his chest. "When you...regularly...walk out into...blaster fire..." Lips wandered further down his chest to his stomach, "It's wise...to wear...armor..." 

Ren halted his trail of kisses when he reached the General's waistband, and peered up at him with a playful grin. Lifting himself upright, he towered over the other man, gazing down on him like a hawk tracking a mouse in the grass. Reaching around to his back, he made short work of the clasps holding his shirt in place, slipped it over his shoulders and tossed it aside in a puddle of black fabric. 

"Your turn," he grinned, and pulled the ginger up, coaxing his uniform top to slip the rest of the way off. "Just look at you," he crooned, lowering Hux back to the bedroll. "You are glorious."

By the low light inside the camping shelter, Hux's milky fair skin seemed to radiate an ethereal glow like the moons in orbit above them. Kylo's large, strong hands curled around the ginger's bare shoulders and glided softly down his arms, fingers entwining with his lover's in a mirror image before pulling apart reluctantly so he could brace himself against the floor. 

Ren was becoming more and more aware of the urgency curling in the pit of his stomach - the steadily growing discomfort as his pants had become impossibly tight, but he chose to put the discomfort from his mind. If his years of training in the Force had taught him anything, it was to focus, to fully enjoy the passions that raged so deeply within him. This was no different, and he was determined to make this experience last as long as he could, both for himself and for the man who'd placed himself at the Force-user's mercy. By the time they were finished, he would possess General Hux, body and soul.

When Hux’s uniform fell away, an inkling of self-consciousness sunk back into him.  How could he not feel insignificant when a marble statue had come to life before him? Strong hands curled around his shoulders, melting away the tension that had started to seep back into them, before moving down his arms and stopping momentarily at his hands. While there, tan clasped to pale, Hux could swear that he could feel the Force bouncing back and forth between them, energy grinding between their hands, flowing like fire, hard as ice. How fitting. "Glorious?" He voice shook. "Have you looked at yourself, lately, Ren? You're..."

When Ren pulled back, so did the energy; it hovered there with him, so close to the ginger, but still apart. The gap between them was already too far, the heat and safety retreating with it--and, there, in that moment, Calic suddenly realized just how truly lost he was. It chilled him to think that he had basically offered himself as a sacrifice to the living-constellation that now held him as a willing captive. 

The night cast shadows over Ren, making his edges sharper - he looked like a charcoal sketch, too artistically drawn to be real and human and…  _ his _ .  

The General’s pale hands reached up to dance across the defined muscles - a new pace, new song, new step, but still together - that had long since become synonymous with the dark man in Hux's mind. He  _ wanted _ \- his own desire heating him and bringing a flush to his cheeks. "Go on, then. The night is young."

Kylo bit his lower lip as he let his eyes traveled lazily over the entirety of Hux's exposed form. "But you...Calic..." Ren paused, cocking his head slightly to one side, his brow furrowing as if he was struggling to work out some difficult complex equation. "You don't see it, do you? The way you affect people...the way you affect  _ me _ . You think me impressive because I have beaten my body into submission, training to be fit and agile, but true power does not come from the physical form.  _ True _ power comes from within." 

Kylo placed one hand, palm downward, fingers splayed, on the ginger's chest, right over his heart. "It is the beating of your heart, the breath in your lungs...the fabric of your soul." 

He swept the hand lightly down Hux's side, pausing at his hip, and looping one long finger in his waistband before slowly running it across his waist, lingering at the front long enough to unfasten the button of his trousers. Before going further, though, the raven-haired man shifted his weight, leaning into Hux so that his arousal pressed against the prone man's inner thigh. With a soft groan at the contact, eyelids flickering shut before reopening to fix Hux with a sultry gaze, he whispered, " _ This _ is what you do to me, Calic.  _ This _ is the true power you hold over me. You may think I am the one in control here, but I'm not. It's always been you."

The ginger shook his head as Ren spoke, voice and snark suddenly gone, vanished into the night as this statue, this star, this angel so deeply cut him with soft words and determined tones. His eyes widened when the knight placed a hand over his heart, it beat erratically, frantically now with that touch. 

Metaphors, symbolism, and reality clashed together to shatter into disbelief. As those fingers trailed downward, so did Hux's heart. Dropping and tightening painfully as Kylo continued to praise and break and hurt and heal. All of it sent Calic's mind into overdrive before flat-lining into white noise. No one had seen him as anything other than a means to an end - a tool to mold and throw into the fray. A weapon and an empty shell to inhabit.

The moment that Ren brushed against him, the General jerked back to life. He pulled the Force-user down to him, hugging him around the shoulders as he gave up trying to vocalize his gratitude and instead fell back onto a simpler means of conveying that. He held the knight tightly, thoughts firing in his direction. 

[All that (desirewarmthwant) was what I've been needing (wantyouonlyyou) to hear all my life. Force, Kylo. (don'tleave) You've broken me (I'myours), torn me open and put me back together. (pleasecan'twait) You're wrong though.] 

Hux pulled away from him, meeting his gaze with a soft smile and slightly wet eyes. "I gave up my control to you long ago. You - no one else." 

[You have me, so completely] 

He dropped his arms away from the taller man, letting his own hands land on either side of his head in full submission to the shadow-man above him. 

[So...show me _your_ true power.]


	4. Stay with Me?

The ginger broke away from a long kiss, his shivering starting to die down. He lifted himself, rolling to land on his back beside the other, and stared up at the ceiling of the tent. He lolled his head to the side, his energy depleted and a sweet, blissful tiredness setting into him. [I'm gonna feel that later], he tried to mentally joke, unable, at the moment, to remember how to actually talk. Their waltz paused - each partner bowing to the other and waiting to see if either would ask for the next dance, or move on to another partner.

Ren inhaled sharply as the General rolled off, taking his place next to Calic on the bedroll. The cool night air lapped at his slick skin, causing him to shiver slightly. Now separate from his partner, he suddenly felt isolated - set adrift on a lonely sea with the only land in sight drifting ever farther behind him, and he wondered if the other man felt the same way. It was silly, he knew. They were, after all, two individuals - not conjoined twins. There had to be a time that they would break apart. And yet...

Hux waited. His eyes traced the knight's profile and a soft smile tugged on his lips. He'd brought this star down with him from the heavens, curled around him, wrapped himself so far into his life that he could not find it in him to let go.   This man - this shadow and star and power - could tear him apart. This was the way his universe began. Not with a crown or a fight, but with a surrender and a heartbeat. 

"Kylo," he whispered his prayer, not really having anything to say afterward. Calic just wanted to reaffirm that the man before him was exactly who he was. Because Kylo Ren, Master of the Knights of Ren and Apprentice to Supreme Leader Snoke, was untouchable and frightening and lethal and painful. But, here he was, so opposite himself. So magnetic. And Hux would be torn apart if he let go, if he found a new person to dance with - a new song, a new beat, a new step. It would tear him to shreds.

Ren rolled onto his side to face the ginger lying next to him, his skin shimmering softly with perspiration and moonlight. He propped himself up on one elbow, hand cradling his head as he looked down at the man who had captivated him so fully. A slight smile tugged at the corners of his lips as he heard his name spoken so reverently. The sound of it gave him chills, and he loved it. 

Answering in hushed tones, he whispered, "Calic..." He felt a blush rise to his cheeks, feeling silly and childish and giddy with the afterglow of passion. "I don't know if I'll ever get used to calling you that," he chuckled, "Or hearing you call me Kylo." In the past, they had always addressed one another by their surnames or their titles; this new familiarity was novel and wonderful.

"Thank-you," he whispered, as his breath finally slowed to a steady pace. "Thank-you..."

The General bit the inside of his cheek as Ren stared down at him, dark eyes cast in moonlight. His mind warred with itself. His cold persona wanted to roll over and sleep, but he, Calic, wanted something more. 

"Thank you? For what?" He asked. "I gave you myself...everything, freely."  He smiled, rolling to rest on his side as well. Unlike Ren, his other arm folded under his head as a makeshift pillow. And, though he would barely admit to himself, he rather liked the size difference between the two.  He liked looking up at Kylo instead of being eye-to-eye. It made him feel protected and guarded.

Slowly, as if afraid that this version of the force-user was just as fragile as this version of Hux, he reached across himself and lightly trailed his fingertips across the knight's free hand. Gently, waiting to be reprimanded or brushed off, pale fingers tangled themselves with Ren's. The small sentiment in that handhold felt like an anchor as Calic moved his gaze from where their hands were locked and up to the force-user's eyes.  A silent question hung between them - will you stay? 

(Can I have this dance? Can I keep you? Will you be here long enough for you to stop being Ren and me to stop being Hux and the two of us to just be us?) 

The watchful eyes of the young knight tracked the movement of Hux's hand as it reached out for his own. Gladly, he spread his fingers in invitation for the other's to interlace, and curled them to wrap around the hand he held - a sort of miniature embrace - not wanting to let go. His gaze wandered lazily back up to the ginger's face, eyes caressing each feature they passed over before locking with those green orbs staring back at him. 

He thought he could sense an air of apprehension rising off the General as he lay there, his eyes imploring Kylo for something, and he longed to give it to him. Whatever it was, anything in the galaxy, all he need do was ask, and he, Master of the Knights of Ren, would retrieve it and give it to him. He scooted closer, longing to feel the heat of the other man's body again, the satin touch of his skin. Hooking one leg over those of the General, he mirrored the position Hux had taken with an arm tucked under his head, so that their faces were level with each other, close enough to feel the ginger's warm breath. "Force, you are beautiful," he finally whispered.

Despite himself, Calic smiled shyly and blushed at the compliment.  He visibly relaxed when Ren's leg looped over his. He glanced away for a moment before clashing green orbs with honey brown, again, and lightly squeezed the knight's hand, thanking him without words. He could see the edge returning to the knight's eyes, the cognitive look that said that he knew that Hux wanted to say more, but would not press the matter until he had to. It was a warning - speak now, for I will never let you forever hold your tongue. 

The ginger leaned forward to place a gentle kiss on the corner of the other man's mouth before settling against him, skin against skin. His head ducked under the force-user's chin and he nuzzled against the warmth he found there. 

"You're everything." And, oh, he hadn't meant to let that thought slip out and hang in the air between them. "I mean...I...well...yeah." [Stay? With me?]

As the smaller man curled into him, Kylo finally allowed himself to exhale, feeling the warmth and security of Hux's body entwined with his own. He planted a soft kiss at the crown of the ginger's head, fiery red hair tickling his nose. Ren grinned at the words spoken, laughing softly as Hux tried to recover, and ultimately owned the statement sheepishly. But then he heard another set of words resonate in his mind. [Of course] he answered by way of that same link. But then he realized the true meaning behind the question and it took his breath away. 

"Are you...Do you..." Ren wasn't sure how to put his thoughts to words. He took a deep, steadying breath and exhaled slowly, collecting his thoughts. He had to get this right, because he might not have a second chance. "Hear me, Hux," he said aloud, solemnly, all playful teasing completely absent from his voice. "I belong to you. You own me, body, mind, and soul, and I would sooner perish in flames than allow you to be taken from me." He paused for a moment, hoping he hadn't come on too strong. "What I mean to say is...I never want to lose you. Ever. And if you want me...I am yours."

The seriousness in the knight's tone instantly had Hux pulling back from his hiding place to look at his face, to lose himself again in that gaze that was too hot and not enough all at the same time. (I am yours, that's what he said...if I want him.) A smile, wide and bright broke across the ginger's face even as tears pricked the corners of his eyes. Why was this so different than anyone before? Why did this hurt in a way that Calic craved? 

"Kylo, I..." He stopped himself quickly. Taking a moment to fully gather his thoughts, if only to hold onto a small bit of dignity. "I want you more than anything else." He tightened his hold on the hand in his. "You--you bothersome, violent, force-wielding maniac - have become my absolute everything. When you're here, I'm warm and safe and I feel like  _ me, _ because you chase away everything that haunts me. And...and when you leave, I feel cold and lost and so much like someone else that sometimes I don't recognize myself." 

He moved back to hide his face against Ren's warmth. "I've belonged to you long before this ever started. I'm yours, Kylo. All yours. And you have thoroughly broken me in the best way possible."

The words, at first uncertain, then came faster, a stream of affirmation that washed over Kylo like a river, sweeping away all his fears and doubts. He could scarcely believe what he was hearing. Long before? How long before? Ren had always assumed that Hux hated him. That his only desire regarding Ren was the desire to show him up in front of Snoke. When had the rivalry for Snoke's attention become a rivalry for each other's? Kylo held him close, his heart full to overflowing. He wanted to say the words that had been bouncing around the inside of his head ever since the night they'd broken down all around one another - the night they'd taken the first hammer fall to each of their respective masks. But even now, with their proclamations of devotion hanging freshly in the air, he was afraid of being rejected. 

"I want to always be there to chase away your demons, Calic," he pledged. "I will be. Always." And then, with a sudden swell of reckless abandon, he projected directly into Hux's mind. [I want you. I need you. I love you.]

Hux gasped, the tears that had built up in his eyes fell over, streaking down his cheeks. Ren's promise, followed so closely by those echoing thoughts, fell over his heart like rain.

Calic let go of the knight's hand to cover his eyes as he tried to muffle his sobs, joy overflowing and overwhelming him. He shook his head, trying to find a way to stop breaking - to stop falling toward the inevitable crash against the ground. 

[I love you, Kylo. I love you.] Even the mental voice he projected was sobbing and shaking. [So much.]

Kylo Ren, wielder of Force energy, creature of Darkness, was reduced to rubble with those three simple words. He suddenly realized that his own cheeks were wet - streaked with the trails his tears had blazed down his face. He wanted to say something - anything! To re-affirm to Calic that he was never alone - that his feelings were valid, shared, and understood, and that Ren would always be there to protect him. But the words got stuck in his throat, so he did the only thing he knew to do. 

Gently tilting the ginger's face upward to meet his gaze, he leaned in and kissed the pale pink lips with all the tenderness and warmth he felt inside. A strong hand crept up from Hux's chin to gently rest on his cheek. This was what he wanted. To remain forever frozen in time like this, with Hux. When he drew back from the kiss, Ren was suddenly struck by the realization that he was completely drained, both physically and emotionally.

"We should probably try to get some sleep," he said softly, hoping the ginger would allow Ren to hold him all through the night. They would need to break apart eventually - but not now. Not tonight. Tonight he wanted to remain as one. Gazing into Calic's stormy-sea-colored eyes, longing to test the feeling of his recent proclamation as it rolled off his tongue. "I love you, Calic," he stated, simply and softly and without pretext or fear. "And I will never let you go."

Hux had closed his eyes somewhere during the kiss, but opened them again when Ren's voice beckoned him back from the sweet oblivion he was falling into. He nodded along with the suggestion of sleep, not really wanting to move. He drowsily wiped away the remaining teardrops from his eyes and locked his gaze with the knight's like a promise. 

‘The eyes are the window to the soul,’ someone once whispered to the General. Ren's, though were so much more than that - they were the first thing he wanted to see at dawn and the last vision he had before he fell into sleep. They were his newest mirror, reflecting everything that the Force-user thought and everything he knew was in Calic's own mind.

"I love you," he murmured back. "And I'm never going anywhere."

Ren smiled softly at Hux's words - so lovely and pure, and so alien to anything that had passed between them up to this point. He marveled at the beautiful chaos that had brought them here - the intricate choreography that had wound them so tightly, only to fall apart and then fall back together. It was almost as if... but his mind was too clouded from the post-coital chemicals coursing through his bloodstream, and a deep, heavy peacefulness was falling over him. 

With one arm draped over Calic's waist, and their legs tangled together, the dark knight finally gave up his insistent gaze on the image of beauty before him. He let his eyes flutter closed, and drifted into the most restful slumber he could remember - a blissful, tranquil, dreamless sleep.

Hux smiled lazily when Ren closed his eyes, more than happy to see his face relax - something that the man never seems to actually do. He braced his hand on the knight's chest, just over his heart - the rhythm steady and so blessedly alive. He tucked himself back into the crook of the man's neck, humming happily and letting his eyes slip closed, willing himself to sleep for the first time in days.

The ghosts never came for him, voices did not moan and curse him, spindly fingers did not claw at him and try and drag him into shadows and places that no longer existed. For once, he was not afraid of the darkness surrounding him, but instead wrapped himself in it and dreamt of the flutter of black feathers, the light of falling stars, and a fire so red, volatile, and crackling, that it was a wonder how it kept shape.

Morning's light crept into the tent, spilling its radiant warmth over the two men who lay within, still tangled up in one another. A soft buzzing sound whirred past Kylo's ear, and he lazily lifted his hand to wave it away. Slowly, consciousness found its way back to his senses, as his eyes slid open and he yawned deeply. When his vision came into focus, it landed on the form of the sleeping ginger still pressed against Kylo. His chest rose and fell in a slow, gentle rhythm, his copper hair tousled in a disheveled grace so enticing that he couldn't help but reach out and stroke it, sweeping a few errant strands out of his face. 

He'd never seen Hux sleeping before; the only other night he'd spent with the man had ended with Kylo oversleeping and waking to an empty bed. The sight of him with his eyes closed in tranquil slumber sent a tingling sensation through Ren's chest. At perfect rest, he didn't even look like the same man whom Ren had encountered every day on the Finalizer - the jagged, tense, icy General - someone completely removed from the angelic being who lay before him now. 

He was torn between the desire to just lay there and watch Hux sleeping, and the childish impatience for him to wake up and look at him with those piercing green eyes. When he couldn't stand waiting any longer, Kylo leaned over and placed a gentle, lingering kiss on Calic's forehead.

"Mmm," Hux hummed when something began to beckon him from the warm floating feeling that encased him in his sleep. He raised a hand to push away whatever was disturbing him while ducking his head away from the interference. The last few threads of his dream were slipping through his fingers, a warm light played against his eyelids, warm and yellow and glowing -- Oh, right, sunlight. He tried to hide again in the warmth in front of him before finally humming again and pulling back. 

His eyes fluttered open, catching the morning light and reactively closing again, as the General grimaced. He slowly blinked awake, eyes adjusting to the change in light and coming to focus on Ren. "Hey," his voice was still heavy with sleep as a small smile turned his lips upward. " 're always hovering over me. S'nice."

Kylo looked different this morning, and Calic couldn't quite place why that was. He was still him, but not. Darkness and shadows still clung to him, waiting to do his bidding and to cloak him, but he seemed lighter. More like when he first came to the Finalizer, Hux thought as he tried to riddle out the difference. 

Power and energy still swirled around him - it shined through his eyes like a challenge or a dare. His dark hair still fell around him like a hood - a reaper's cloak, another challenge. His body was still sculpted and made of hard edges - a weapon to destroy and a shield to protect. He still made Calic feel small - but no longer in an oppressive manner. He broke from his thoughts to look around the tent. The sun was up. They were on a cliff. They had a mission. As much as he would rather stay exactly where they were, the ginger stretched his back and began to go through his mental checklist. He pressed back against Ren one more time before finally speaking. "We need to get up...and dressed."

Kylo's smile quickly turned to a frown at Hux's suggestion that they immediately get up and dress. It felt like a loss, like the ephemeral mist of the events that had transpired the night before was burning away before his eyes in the glaring light of day. 

He sighed dramatically and rolled onto his back, lazily slinging one arm across his forehead in a "woe-is-me" posture. "Are you always so by the book, Hux?" he groaned pitifully. "Can't we just stay here a little longer?" Peeking out from behind the arm masking his eyes, with a playful smirk, he added, "Or, you know...a lot longer?"

Hux rolled his eyes at the knight's display, watching him as he finally sat up. The ginger slowly got onto his knees, a slight soreness had set into him overnight. He sat with his legs tucked under him. 

"Yes, Lord Ren, I'm always by the book." He leaned forward, giving the other a quick kiss. "I have to be." He stood, walking over to his bag to rummage through the contents. He pulled out clean clothes, glancing over at his ruined and crumpled uniform top that was thrown across the tent. A little more casual dress, then. He thought to himself as he started to get ready for the day. 

Kylo sat up and watched the General as he got up from the bed and walked the short distance to retrieve his clothes for the day. He couldn't help but smile at the sight - the regal General Hux of the First Order, respected by all, now here standing before Ren in all his ginger glory.

As his eyes roamed over every inch of the graceful apparition of a man, Kylo felt a twitch in his nether regions, but ignored it. Later, he thought to himself. There would be plenty of time for that later. 

Finally, after a long stretch and yawn, Kylo pushed himself up to stand, turning slightly to hide his inopportune impulses from the other man. Stretching out his hand, he beckoned his own knapsack to his grip with the Force, and quickly pulled on a fresh pair of underwear, followed by his typical black leather pants and shirt. He sat back down on the bedroll to tug on socks and military issue boots. With a quick look around the shelter, he force-pulled his gloves and outer robes to himself, donning them quickly, and completing the ensemble with his helmet. The rest of his dirty clothes from the night before were roughly wadded and stuffed into his bag, and he rose to his feet.

This all seemed too easy, Hux thought - this thing between the two of them. It felt so...domestic, now. Less like they were about to transverse a land that could easily turn stormy and windy and more like they were about to take a stroll, hand in hand, along a gentle trail. He shook off the warm feeling that thought gave him as he finished dressing - black pants, leather boots, and a simple long-sleeved charcoal-gray shirt. He ran his fingers through his hair, smoothing it to the best of his ability, before finally slinging the strap of the bag over his shoulders and turning back to face Ren. "Ready?"

The General felt under-dressed as he looked at the knight - donned again in shadows and mystery. He glanced downward at himself once more before picking up his wrinkled uniform top and shoving it into his bag and exiting the tent. He climbed out of their hiding place and sat, dangling his legs off the edge of the sinkhole as he watched Ren pack up the tent. 

The landscape had changed overnight - it looked like a giant broom had been raked over the surface, the hyperwinds having torn through multiple layers of dirt and exposing hard rock in patches scattered across the ground. 

He looked quietly into the depths of the pit, his thoughts slipping in and out of one another, sewn together by reflection. He still didn't understand the mission - not fully - but if it meant Snoke forgiving his failures at Starkiller Base, then he would complete it. It weighed heavy on his mind; Snoke held a power that even Ren feared, and that alone should unnerve anyone who had come in contact with the Force-user. But it was more than that. 

Snoke controlled everything, Hux had come to accept that, the more he worked with the gargoyle-like creature. His position and life hung from the Supreme Leader's fingers like puppet strings waiting to be pulled and plucked and cut. If he wanted to stay General, stay in command, then this mission needed to be flawless. Otherwise, he'd find himself in a small cell, locked away for knowing too much and being too useless.

The ginger heard footsteps approach him and he leaned back away from the rim to slightly recline, balanced by his hands against the broken earth. He cast his gaze to the bone-city they were trying to reach. It was a good distance away from them, but they should arrive by nightfall, barring that a storm didn't crash down upon them and blow them away. [I suppose now is as good a time as any to start walking again.]

[One minute] Ren projected to the seated man. [Let me catch my breath.] It was a weak excuse, and Ren knew the General would see right through it, but he didn't care. He slumped down on the edge of the cliff next to Hux, turning his head to regard him. The mask he wore was heavy and hot, and it felt like a wall between himself and the man sitting just inches from him. Sighing, he disengaged the locking mechanism and lifted the helmet off his head, placing it on the ground on the other side of him. With a shrug, he said aloud, "I don't really need that here, do I?" 

Mirroring the General's position, he inched one hand over to where where Hux's was rooted, and laced his long fingers over and around the other's. Casting his gaze out over the massive ravine, he said wistfully, "It's actually quite beautiful, isn't it? Dangerous, exciting, and beautiful." Then turning his head to look directly at Hux, he added with a sly grin, "You do make an improvement to the landscape though."

[Catch your breath, hmm? Why, Ren, I think you're getting soft.] Hux simply gave him a glance when the other man joined him. He looked back out into the black depth, a smile momentarily flickered across his features when the knight removed his mask, letting it lay on the ground, forgotten for the time being. When a gloved hand covered his own on the ground, those old ghosts whispered into his ear, once more. How easy it would be to pull them both over the edge, to finish this mission the same way that teardrops and rain ends - a long drop, a single crash, and then it's done. Death was the ultimate epilogue. In his other ear, the General heard the force-user's voice and words, pulling him back toward life, not the absence of it. 

"Dangerous, exciting, and beautiful? Are you talking about the scenery or yourself?" His own reply sounded far away to him, as though speaking through water. The ghosts cluttered his mind with urges to jump, fall, let go. They whispered his own doubts to him - how many times would he have to jump through flaming hoops, how many more weapons, how many more lives before everything either fell away or fell into place? How many more ghosts did he have to collect to finally be done with everything, to break under pressure, to only be able to see red and death and...

The tent and bedroll were all packed and tied up, and they were ready to start on their way, but Kylo was uneasy. He couldn't quite put his finger on the source, but there was a vague thumping in the back of his mind - some abstract premonition of unpleasantry to come. Was it the Force trying to warn him? Or was it only his imagination? 

Ren scooped up his helmet and shoved it into his bag along with his dirty clothes. Standing to his feet, he turned to face the General. As he studied his face, Ren could sense that something was not right - something shone in his eyes. There was always a certain sorrow in those eyes; it was part of his innate beauty - an irresistible melancholy. This was different, though, and he briefly wondered whether he had somehow projected his own misgivings over the journey onto Hux. Cocking his head to one side, he gazed steadily at the ginger, trying to get a sense of what could be bothering him. 

The past 48 hours had jarred him so far from his normal reality, that he couldn't be sure of anything anymore. He shrugged off the feeling of dread as silly superstition and said, "I guess I'm as ready as I'll ever be."

Hux nodded. He finally looked at the other man, painting a smirk on his face. "Then what are we waiting for?" He turned away from the edge and stood. Put his back to his haunting mind and instead faced the taller man. "A kiss before the trip? For luck?"

"I thought you'd never ask," Kylo said, pulling the General to himself and leaning forward to kiss him softly. Idly, he wondered whether he would always feel this way when his lips met with Calic's - the thrill rising in his chest, sending shivers down his spine and making his heart beat just a little more quickly. When he pulled back from the kiss, his eyes opened slowly, looking down at the man in his arms. [Are you alright?] he pressed, still sensing a heaviness weighing on the General like a lead jacket.

The kiss was soft and he was more than grateful that, when it ended, Ren still held him close. He was surprised and felt guilty at the force-user's question, having forgotten to secure his own mask and keep his demons to himself. [I will be,] he answered. [I'm getting there.] The ghosts felt like foggy wisps, now. They faded into the sunlight and warmth. 

He wrapped his arms around the knight, holding him tightly for a few long seconds before finally letting him go and stepping back. [I love you.] He broke the embrace entirely, half turning toward their destination. 

"Let's go. If all goes well, then we'll be at that graveyard settlement by night." Without another word, but with a brief smile, he finished his turn and began the long walk, one hand sweeping through his hair as he brushed away the last of those thoughts.

Kylo's lips turned upward in a soft smile upon hearing Hux's declaration, and he answered immediately, [I love you, too, Calic. So very much.] He watched as the ginger swept slender fingers through his copper hair, and felt a slight shiver as he remembered the feeling of his own fingers tangled in the silky mop. With a grin, he thought to himself ‘Mine. He is all mine. And he wants me for himself. How did I become so lucky?’

The two men hiked along the edge of the sinkhole in silence for a while. Ren was deep in thought, still puzzling over the nagging fear which nibbled at the corners of his mind. However close he seemed to come, the dark shadow of foreboding always skittered away at the last moment, like a swarm of cockroaches when the lights come on. Finally, he dismissed the fear once again. What good would it do to brood on something so elusive? It served no purpose, beyond making him tired and fearful. 

Periodically, Ren would peek down into the abyss, straining for a glimpse of life, but so far there was nothing. Just keep moving, he told himself. The sooner we finish here, the sooner we get back to Finalizer, and a chance at happiness...together.

**Author's Note:**

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